Fear - 39

"If you mean do I have feelings for Shawn, that's a good question," Gene replied to Max's question.

"And the answer is?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. I like him. He's a sweet kid and fun to be with when he's not running scared. I'd like to see him get his life back in order and learn to live without jumping at every shadow or sharp word. Am I the right one to help him do that? That remains to be seen. God only knows I'm not looking for someone in my life."

"Why?"

Gene chuckled wryly. "Will you stop asking the hard questions?"

"What's so hard about that one? Do you think people will think less of you if they find out the wonderful Doctor Collins just happens to be gay? Hell, Gene, I'd bet half of them have figured it out already and the other half couldn't care less."

"Maybe. Probably, but there's more to it than that."

"Do you want to tell me? If not, I won't bug you about it. I'm just worried about Shawn—and about you, when it comes right down to it."

Gene leaned back, hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. "I was in the same situation Shawn was, a few years ago."

Without blinking an eye, Max said, "Which makes you the perfect man to help him get past his trauma."

"Or the worst one because I might push too hard, too fast. I might let something develop between us, thinking it'll help him or because I'm ready to try being in a relationship, finally, and if it doesn't work out, then we're both shafted." He looked at Max again. "Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yep. You're scared to give things a chance because you might get hurt again. I'll say this, if Shawn asked about starting something with you, I'd tell him to remember that you're not Jared. The same goes for you. Shawn's not the guy who abused you."

"Hell, I know that! Shawn doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Damn, Max."

"Neither do you, but you'll have to prove it to Shawn. He has to see it's possible to have a man in his life who is not going to try to control him or hurt him. And before you say anything, I'm not suggesting the two of you have a blazing affair after which you settle down in a cozy cottage and have two point five kids. Adopted, of course," Max added with a grin. "Just don't ignore any feelings that might develop between the two of you out of some misguided idea that you're not right for him. I think underneath it all he's got untapped strength. Hell he has to, to have survived that bastard. If the two of you want something from each other beyond friendship, and if you find out later it doesn't work, he can handle it just as you can."

"I'll…think about it. And it still doesn't answer the question about the Farmer's Market."

"Oh that was answered a while ago," Max replied as he got up. "You're taking him. So deal." With that said, he marched out of the office, grinning ear to ear.