Fear - 42

"Stop fighting me, baby," Jared growled as he released his tight hold on Shawn and shoved him into the truck from the driver's side. "I might think you don't want to be with me anymore." He pushed Shawn across the seat and got in. Starting the truck, he drove out of the lot toward the highway.

"I don't want to be with you." Shawn fumbled with the door handle, planning on jumping out even though they were moving. "You almost killed me."

"Like hell I did! I just punished you for fucking around with some guy." Jared delivered a vicious backhand when he said that, which slammed Shawn's head against the side window. "You don't have a choice, baby. I love you and that makes you mine. You know that."

Shawn rubbed his face where the slap had landed, his eyes tearing up. Suddenly he felt all the old emotions welling up. The need to do what was ordered because he was afraid if he didn't, he'd lose Jared. The belief that he deserved whatever Jared did to him because Jared loved him and wanted him to be worthy of his love.

It's not true. One part of his mind told him. It's not love. It's…it's just his need to feel powerful and in control. That's what Gene said and he knows.

"Who was that man you were with at the Market?" Jared growled, pulling onto the highway, heading toward the city. "The same son-of-a-bitch from before or have you picked up with a new one?"

When Shawn didn't answer, Jared grabbed his wrist, twisting it hard.

Shawn gasped in pain. "He's just a friend, just a friend," he whimpered.

"They're all 'just friends', you little slut. Well, no more. When we get where we're going, I'm going to teach you who your only friend is and then I'm going to fuck you until you believe I'm the only man in your life. Ever. Got that?" Spittle flew from his lips as he spoke, some of it landing on Shawn as he cowered in the corner of the seat when Jared turned his enraged gaze on him.

"Jared, watch out!" Shawn shouted, panic overcoming his fear of Jared's anger.

While he'd been yelling at Shawn, Jared's concentration had left the road and the truck had begun drifting across the center line into the path of an oncoming car. Jared swore, twisting the steering wheel hard to the right. The truck's rear end swung to the left on worn tires. The car's driver swerved trying to avoid a collision. His right bumper tapped the truck's rear end just enough to send the truck careening into a spin and across the right-hand lane, narrowly missing another vehicle before hitting the rocky verge at the side of the highway.

"Now look what you made me do," Jared shouted, slamming on the brakes.

Fear - 41

Gene looked around and shook his head. "Now where's he disappeared to?"

"He was heading that way," Max replied, pointing in the direction of the bread booth, "Which means he probably found the one with the pies just around the corner."

"If they have samples, he'll be trying them all. You should have seen him at the apple stand. He charmed the woman into giving him slices from all the different kinds."

As they talked, Gene and Max went in the direction they'd last seen Shawn. It soon became apparent he wasn't where they'd thought he'd gone.

"Okay, if I were him, where would I head?" Gene muttered.

Max chuckled. "Straight back to you once he knew you weren't with him. Other than that, it's anyone's guess."

They were at an intersection where four aisles of booths met. Gene stood on tiptoe, trying to spot Shawn over the heads of the people mingling down each of them.

"Lose someone, Doctor Gene?" one of the women running the bread booth asked in amusement.

"Yes. Did you see a young man with dark hair, about five-nine, anywhere around?"

"Sure did. He was standing just about where you are when this big fellow came up to him. They must have known each other 'cause the big guy put his arm around your friend, said something and they walked off. Looked like they were heading toward the parking lot, though I won't swear to it."

"Hell no!" Gene took off running with Max right at his heels. They reached the lot just in time to see a battered truck pull onto the street, heading toward the highway a half mile away.

"That's Jared's truck. I'd recognize it anywhere, despite the condition it's in," Max said angrily.

Gene whirled around, looking for the any of the police officers on duty in the Market area. He spotted one a few hundred yards away and raced over to him. "I want to report a kidnapping," he said, trying to rein in his anger.

"Whose, Doc?"

Gene took a deep breath. "His name is Shawn. Shawn Mathews. He…"

"I know who he is. I had to get him away from his boyfriend when he was beating on him, about two, three months ago give or take. Down at Ms Johnson's motel. The question is, what makes you think he was kidnapped, and by who? The boyfriend?"

"Yes, damn it. And I know he wouldn't have gone willingly. Not after what the bastard did to him. They're in a truck…" Gene turned to Max. "You describe it. You know it better than I do."

"Two thousand and three Ford Ranger. Black with gray primer on one fender. Dirty, like it's been through the mud, which it could have been. Not sure of the license plate but…"

"If you check police reports you'll find out," Gene put in. "The owner's name is Jared Lewis. He's wanted for first degree assault and battery."

"On Mr. Mathews?" the officer asked as he took out his two-way.

"Yes," Gene replied angrily. "And now he has him again. Damn it, do something."

Max put a hand on Gene's arm. "He is. He's calling it in. So take a deep breath and let him do his job."

Gene did, muttering, "Sorry. I'm scared, and Shawn's got to be terrified."

Fear - 40

"I thought, well, that a farmer's market meant lots of vegetables and fruits, not all this." Shawn swept his arm out to encompass the various booths, almost hitting an unsuspecting woman in the process. He apologized profusely then told Gene to stop laughing.

Gene did, but seemed to have trouble hiding his amusement at how excited Shawn was about everything.

Shawn saw that and scowled, then grinned. "Okay, so I've never been to one. Shoot me." He continued looking around then grabbed Gene's arm. "They even have artists. Fantastic!"

"You like that, huh," Gene said, allowing Shawn to drag him to the booth in question.

"Oh yeah. I used to draw sometimes, way back when before… well, just before."

"BJ."

"What?" Shawn swung around to stare at him.

"BJ, before Jared. Oh hell…" Gene shook his head when he realized what that usually stood for. "Sorry," he said, laughing.

Shawn grinned. "I'm going to remember that." He sobered a bit. "It kinda makes it easier to think of him that way. I can sort of smile then, because…because you said it and it was stupid that you didn't think what it meant and…"

"You're rambling again."

"Yeah, I am. So anyway…" Shawn pointed to a picture of a cabin surrounded by snow covered trees with a mountain behind them. "He made it look almost real but fanciful too."

Gene studied it and nodded. "Idealized, the way you'd like it to be."

"Yes, exactly."

They looked at some of the other artwork then moved on to a booth of jewelry. "I should get something for Mrs. Spitzer. To thank her for letting me stay there," Shawn said, fingering a pair of green earrings. "Or maybe some of that soap." He practically bounced over to the next booth, which held baskets full of organic soaps in all shapes and colors.

"Looks like he's having fun," Max said, coming up beside Gene.

"Definitely. He doesn't seem to have a care in the world right now. At least mostly. Did you know he used to draw, according to him?"

"Nope. I gather that was before Jared came along."

"Yeah. I suspect he pretty well crushed that part of him. Probably told him he wasn't any good so he should forget it."

While Gene and Max talked, Shawn moved on to the next booths, oblivious of the fact Gene wasn't following along. He stopped again at one laden down with loaves of homemade bread, inhaling their heady aroma. When he felt an arm around his waist he almost sighed with happiness, leaning back into the embrace.

I thought he'd never do this. At least not so soon, and in public

Then a well remembered voice whispered low against his ear. "Hi, baby, did you miss me?"

Fear - 39

"If you mean do I have feelings for Shawn, that's a good question," Gene replied to Max's question.

"And the answer is?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. I like him. He's a sweet kid and fun to be with when he's not running scared. I'd like to see him get his life back in order and learn to live without jumping at every shadow or sharp word. Am I the right one to help him do that? That remains to be seen. God only knows I'm not looking for someone in my life."

"Why?"

Gene chuckled wryly. "Will you stop asking the hard questions?"

"What's so hard about that one? Do you think people will think less of you if they find out the wonderful Doctor Collins just happens to be gay? Hell, Gene, I'd bet half of them have figured it out already and the other half couldn't care less."

"Maybe. Probably, but there's more to it than that."

"Do you want to tell me? If not, I won't bug you about it. I'm just worried about Shawn—and about you, when it comes right down to it."

Gene leaned back, hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. "I was in the same situation Shawn was, a few years ago."

Without blinking an eye, Max said, "Which makes you the perfect man to help him get past his trauma."

"Or the worst one because I might push too hard, too fast. I might let something develop between us, thinking it'll help him or because I'm ready to try being in a relationship, finally, and if it doesn't work out, then we're both shafted." He looked at Max again. "Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yep. You're scared to give things a chance because you might get hurt again. I'll say this, if Shawn asked about starting something with you, I'd tell him to remember that you're not Jared. The same goes for you. Shawn's not the guy who abused you."

"Hell, I know that! Shawn doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Damn, Max."

"Neither do you, but you'll have to prove it to Shawn. He has to see it's possible to have a man in his life who is not going to try to control him or hurt him. And before you say anything, I'm not suggesting the two of you have a blazing affair after which you settle down in a cozy cottage and have two point five kids. Adopted, of course," Max added with a grin. "Just don't ignore any feelings that might develop between the two of you out of some misguided idea that you're not right for him. I think underneath it all he's got untapped strength. Hell he has to, to have survived that bastard. If the two of you want something from each other beyond friendship, and if you find out later it doesn't work, he can handle it just as you can."

"I'll…think about it. And it still doesn't answer the question about the Farmer's Market."

"Oh that was answered a while ago," Max replied as he got up. "You're taking him. So deal." With that said, he marched out of the office, grinning ear to ear.

Fear - 38

"You busy?"

Gene looked up to see Max standing in the doorway to his office and smiled. "Nope, just saw my last patient. How'd you get past Robin without her warning me you were here?"

"I bribed her." Max laughed. "Not really. She was busy on the computer, saw it was me, and nodded me through."

"I'll have to have a word with her," Gene muttered with mock severity. "So, to what do I owe this visit?"

Max took a seat in the patient's chair across from Gene. "Just being nosy. How'd your date with Shawn go?"

"It wasn't a date. He just bought me dinner to thank me for my help."

Max smiled knowingly. "Don't tell him that. He was bouncing around the garage today like a kid who'd just had the best night of his life. He also said the two of you were going to the Farmer's Market Sunday. I think his words were, 'Gene's going to introduce me to people' or something like that."

"Okay, hang on a second. He was supposed to ask if he could go with you and Linda."

"I guess that sort of slipped his mind."

Gene sighed. "So now what do I do?"

"Good question. If you back out—not that there's anything to back out of from in your point of view—he's going to be real hurt. I don't think he needs that right now."

"And if I do take him, he's going to think there's more to it than just letting him get to know people."

"Got it in one."

In frustration, Gene ran his fingers through his hair. "Can't you tell him you're taking him?"

"Do you really think he'd accept that?"

"No."

"He's got a thing for you, Gene. Whether it's just because you were there when he needed someone or a rebound from all he went through with the bastard, it's there and you're going to have to deal with it one way or another." Max studied his friend. "How do you feel about him?"

Meet 'A Man of Many Parts'. Out today!

A Man of Many Parts

https://www.jms-books.com/erotic-romance-c-29_94/a-man-of-many-parts-p-2796.html

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07V213J33

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-man-of-many-parts-edward-kendrick/1132016097?ean=9781634869645  

GENRE: Gay Paranormal Erotic Romance
LENGTH: 40,947 words
RATING:

To some who know him, Jax -- under the name Jackson Martin -- is a reputable restorer of antiquarian books. To others, in various guises, he's a man who double-crosses thieves, relieving them of what wasn't theirs to begin with ... although he doesn't return the stolen goods to their original owners. That isn't his thing.

When he's hired by Donovan, a book collector, to restore a damaged atlas, Jax meets the young man who runs Donovan's side interest, a no-kill animal shelter. Noel is wary of Jackson for reasons he can't explain. It doesn't stop him from finding Jax interesting ... an interest Jax returns despite knowing it will go nowhere.

Then Keegan, Jax's mortal enemy, appears bent on killing him. Will Jax be able to stop him before that happens? And will what he and Noel learn about each other end their budding relationship before it can become something more?

EXCERPT:

When Jax got home, he showered and went to bed, awaking eight hours later to bright sunshine coming through the window. He stretched lazily, decided it was time to get up, and did so. When he looked in the bathroom mirror he figured he must have been more tired than he'd thought when he'd arrived at the condo as Mick's face stared back at him. Not that it was a problem. He knew himself well enough to know he wouldn't have gotten onto his private elevator if anyone had been around to see him.

He changed his look, becoming Jackson a.k.a. Jax, shaved, got dressed and went into the kitchen to fix a late breakfast. Or early lunch, he decided when a glance at the clock told him it was almost eleven.

After he ate, he went into his office behind the living room. The first thing he did after getting online was check for news stories on the jewelry store robbery. He smiled when he saw that Patterson and his accomplice had been apprehended. They had been filmed leaving after the robbery by the camera outside the store, just as he'd planned. He laughed aloud when the report said that the police didn't believe Patterson's claim that a third man had taken off with the sizable haul from the robbery. Some of the fingerprints lifted from the car belonged to one Calvin Morse, a known burglar. When he was located, he denied any knowledge of the robbery before stupidly, in Jax's opinion, trying to escape by jumping off his second floor balcony. Guilty conscious about something, apparently. His body was now lying in the morgue, waiting for the next of kin to identify it. No trace of the jewelry was found on his person or in his apartment.

Satisfied that he had, as always, pulled off the perfect double-cross, Jax went into his business email. "Not that I want to work, but I do have to keep up appearances," he said under his breath. That wasn't quite the truth. He liked taking a damaged book and restoring it to its original pristine condition -- or as close as was possible.

There was only one email, from a man by the name of Donovan Hayes.

Mr. Martin, it began. I am in need of your expertise. I purchased a book which, unbeknown to me at the time, had significant damage to two pages. If you are available and interested, please call me.

No description of the damage? Usually people will over-explain what turns out to be something quite easy, if time consuming, to repair. Well, Mr. Hayes, let's see if you're legitimate, first.

He always did a thorough check on a potential client who wanted his services. It wouldn't do to walk into a trap because he was too trusting. It had happened once, when he had first set up his business, many years ago. He managed to escape unscathed, and had learned a valuable lesson in the process. Not all collectors were as honest and aboveboard as one could hope. But then neither am I, except when it comes to my business. Then I'm scrupulously honest.

Two hours later, he was certain the man was legitimate. At that point he called him to find out precisely what Hayes needed him to do.

"As I'm certain you know," Hayes said once Jax had introduced himself as Jackson Martin, "I'm a book dealer with my own well-respected bookshop, and a collector of rare and antiquarian books."

I didn't until I researched you. Jax refrained from saying that aloud. He already had the feeling, just from the tone of his voice, that Mr. Hayes was one of those people who thought everyone would know who he was the moment his name was mentioned. Instead, Jax lied, replying, "Your name is familiar to me."

"Very good. Now, to my problem. I bought several cartons of old books at an estate auction. Most of them will go directly onto the shelves of my shop. I expected that. I'll make enough off them to help defray the cost of the two I was after for my personal collection."

"I'm presuming from what you said in your email, that you didn't discover one was damaged until you got it home."

"Yes. The atlas." There was a pause before Hayes continued. "I'll admit, I was a bit precipitous in buying it without giving it a thorough examination first. However the previous owner assured me that it was in close to pristine condition and from what I did see of it, he was correct. There was another bidder and I was determined to get my hands on it rather than let him outbid me."

"A true addict," Jax said with a small laugh.

"That I am," Hayes replied. 

Fear - 37

"That's your house?" Shawn looked at it almost in awe. Not that is was big, not like Max's place, but it just looked—nice. Like the man it belonged to.

The bottom half was brick with a small covered front porch and one large window next to it. The upper story was blue shingled with brick-colored trim around an arched window, which had two smaller windows abutting it. The house sat just off the street, a wrought iron fence surrounding it and the huge pine tree at one side.

"That's it. I bought it when I first moved here and made the decision that this was where I wanted to spend my life." Gene smiled and shook his head. "Damn, that was four years ago already."

"You're old," Shawn told him with an amused smirk. He was beginning to feel relaxed when he was with Gene. Not totally, but enough to joke a bit, which was something he'd never really done with Jared. He was always afraid Jared would take it the wrong way and—Shawn quickly pushed that thought away as best he could.

"Well I'm not as young as you, kid, but I hardly think thirty is old."

"Ancient, positively ancient." Shawn darted away when Gene took a swipe at him. "Can I see the inside?" he asked hopefully.

"Not tonight. It's getting late and you have to work tomorrow. So do I, as far as that goes."

"Okay." Shawn wanted to protest it wasn't that late but was afraid of the consequences. He's not Jared; he's not Jared. He repeated the mantra in his mind but it made no difference. Gene was still older and bigger and wiser… and nicer, I think. But I thought Jared was nice at first.

"Come on. I'll drive you home."

"I can walk." Shawn cringed as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He couldn't help it.

Gene smiled gently. "I know you can, but I'd like to drive you anyway. And that, Shawn in not an order, it's a request. I've had fun this evening. You're good company when you let yourself relax." Putting a hand on Shawn's shoulder he turned him back toward the main street. "I have to pick up my car anyway. Right?"

"Right." Shawn shivered when Gene touched him, but not in fear, he suddenly realized. There was nothing to fear with him. "I'll race you." He grinned and took off.

"Damn!" Gene took after him, laughing, catching up a block from the car. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Well…" Shawn looked at him, one eyebrow cocked, as they walked the rest of the way to the car. "You did say you were old, so maybe I should be careful with you?"

"Had to go there, didn't you? Get in the car—kid," Gene mock growled. It was instantly apparent he wished he hadn't done that when Shawn cowered and hurried to do as he'd said. As soon as he was in the car as well, Gene reached for Shawn's hand.

Shawn pulled away, huddling in the corner of the seat next to the door.

"Don't," Gene said quietly. "I was teasing. I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm sorry."

"It's… I know, I guess." Tears burned behind Shawn's eyelids. "Will I ever stop doing that? Being so afraid of…of every word and gesture?"

"You will." Gene held out his hand and this time Shawn took it, although he didn't relax his defensive posture. "It'll take time. You're fresh out of a very bad relationship. No one can expect you to suddenly turn into all sweetness and light. Although"—he traced his thumb over the back of Shawn's hand—"you did make a stab at it tonight."

Shawn looked down at their hands, nodding. "I'm trying. It's just so hard."

"I know. I've been there, remember?"

"I'm glad," Shawn whispered. Then he realized how that sounded. "I don't mean that you were, but that you…well that you were, so you understand. Does that make any sense?"

"I get exactly what you're saying so yeah, it does." Releasing Shawn's hand, Gene started the car. "Now let's get you home. Max is probably wondering if I kidnapped you."

"To have your wicked way with me."

Gene grinned. "Maybe that too, though I doubt it."

Maybe someday. When I'm…better.

Fear - 36

Whatever Shawn was going to say was interrupted by the waitress as she set their meals in front of them.

And that effectively ended another topic he doesn't really want to talk about.

Shawn immediately picked up his brisket sandwich and took a big bite. "This is so good," he said enthusiastically, as soon as his mouth was empty. "Is yours?"

"Yep. You want to try a bite?" Gene cut off a piece when Shawn nodded, handing it to him.

"I like this too. Maybe next time we come here, I'll order it." Shawn turned a bright shade of pink, quickly dropped his gaze to his food, cut a bit of the sandwich, and gave it to Gene. "Not as good as this though."

Gene smiled as he ate it. "I'd debate that."

They both went silent then as they worked their way through their meals. Shawn kept glancing at Gene though, looking away any time Gene caught him at it.

Gene decided he might have a problem the fourth time it happened. Either that or I'm being very egotistical. He chuckled to himself. I'm one of the few people he knows here and I helped him come to grips with what had happened in his life. What is it the psychiatrists call it? Transference? He was dependent on Jared for so long and with him gone he could be looking for someone else to take his place. Though God knows I hope not. He has to learn to stand on his own two feet and find someone to have a healthy relationship with.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Gene laughed. "Trust me. They aren't worth nearly that much." He realized they'd both finished eating and asked, "Do you want dessert?"

"Naw, I'm stuffed." Shawn pushed his plate to one side. "But if you do…"

"Nope. If I eat anything more, you'll have to roll me home." He started to signal for the check.

"I'm paying," Shawn said in what Gene thought was a rare burst of authority for him. "This was my idea." He quickly dropped his gaze. "I mean… it was… so I should pay."

"I'm not debating that. I just wanted to get her over here. I'm ready to leave."

Shawn nodded hard. "Me too." His posture was deferential and he seemed to turn in on himself then, reverting back to the way he'd acted when Gene had run into him just before he'd ended up in the hospital.

Gene reached for his hand. "That wasn't an order, Shawn. Just a statement. If you want to stay, we can get more coffee and maybe go out on the patio."

"Is that what you want to do?" Shawn whispered.

"Shawn, look at me please." When the younger man did, Gene said gently but firmly, "We're friends now, I hope. One thing you have to understand about friendship, no one is the boss. If you want to do something, you say so, and the same for me, and then we make a decision we both can deal with. As far as I'm concerned at the moment, we can stay or go." He squeezed Shawn's hand. "So which would you like to do?"

Shawn took a deep breath. "Go, and maybe walk for a while." He gave a small grin. "To work off everything we ate."

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

Fear - 35

"We're here," Shawn pointed out, coming to a complete stop in front of the restaurant door. He grabbed the handle and pulled it open.

"You do know I'm quite able to open doors on my own," Gene said with a smile as he entered.

"Yes, well…just…just habit, I guess," Shawn replied, chewing his lip.

"I understand." Gene greeted the hostess when she came toward them, telling her they wanted a table for two and introducing her to Shawn.

"So you're the infamous Shawn," she said with a grin. "Everyone was worried about you when they heard you'd been in an accident."

Shawn audibly gulped, staring down at his shoes. "It wasn't…"

"As bad as Max probably made it sound," Gene said hurriedly.

"Accident?" Shawn said a minute later, after the hostess had taken them to a table and left.

Leaning forward, resting his chin on his folded hands to keep his words private from anyone but Shawn, Gene replied quietly, "Max figured that was a better explanation than 'His boyfriend beat the crap out of him'."

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess." Shawn scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Can we talk about something else? Please?"

"Of course." Gene took one of the menus from the holder at the side of the table. "So what's your favorite here? Me, I'm partial to the Carolina pulled pork sandwich."

"Well—" Shawn quickly grabbed the other menu. "Umm…"

Gene laughed. "You've never been here before, have you?"

"No," Shawn admitted, "but I used to smell the food when I'd walk by. It always made me hungry."

"If you like your food really spicy, try the hot link sandwich." Shawn shuddered, so Gene added, "Or not."

The waitress came over at that point. When Shawn still couldn't seem to make a choice, she suggested the sliced brisket with a side of baked beans. He nodded in agreement. Gene ordered the pulled pork with spicy slaw, and after getting their drink orders, she left.

"We used to go to the Fireside," Shawn said out of the blue.

Gene went with that, replying, "It's a nice place, if a bit off the beaten track."

"It's not that far and he liked it because no one bothered us. We always took that table way in the back and…" Shawn shrugged. "Do you have a favorite one? Some place you take…umm…dates to?"

"Since I don't date that would be a resounding 'no'."

"You don't? But you're so nice. Anyone would want to go out with you."

Gene shook his head. "There's not exactly a large gay population here, which limits my choices."

"Oh, yeah, it would. I'd… Never mind." Shawn grabbed his glass of water and took a big gulp.

Oh boy, not good. Damn it, I need to get the conversation onto something else and fast.

"Where did you grow up?" Gene asked.

"Back east," Shawn replied, waving a hand vaguely in that direction.

"Like the east coast—or somewhere between there and here?"

"Umm hmm."

"Do you ever go back to visit?"

"No, they…"

Fear - 34

Gene smiled when Shawn appeared from the back room of the garage. "You clean up very well."

Shawn immediately looked at his fingernails as if to be certain he'd gotten all the grease out from under them before nodding. "I tried."

"And succeeded. Ready?"

Shawn nodded again, shyly. "Are we walking or driving."

"It's a nice night so let's walk. It's not like it's going to be a major hike."

"True." Shawn hurried forward to open the door, waiting for Gene to exit then following. "Did you have a good day?" he asked when they were outside.

"I suppose it depends on your definition of good. There was a boy had a run-in with a 'mean swing', to quote him, and needed a couple of stitches. Then a woman came down with the flu and of course she came in rather than just calling to have me come check her out, so I might have a few more patients within the next couple of days." Shawn looked puzzled. "The flu's catching if she…"

"Oh I know that. I just… you know a lot of people because you live here." Shawn shrugged. "I really don't know anyone in town unless they've come into the garage."

Right. He probably wouldn't, poor kid

"Then we'll have to change that, won't we."

"We will? I mean, okay, sure. How?"

Gene grinned. "We could go door to door."

"Oh no, that wouldn't be…" Shawn stopped, looking at Gene. "You're teasing, aren't you?"

"Big time," Gene admitted. "But I will introduce you to anyone we run into." He looked around. "Come on, there's the Mitchell family. He's an accountant, she works at the bank. Their kids are in, hmm, middle school and high school, I think."

They crossed the street and true to his word, Gene introduced Shawn, telling them that Shawn worked for Max. They chatted for a couple of minutes then the Mitchells continued on their way home.

"They're nice," Shawn said.

"You sound surprised."

"I guess I shouldn't be. It's just that Jared said…" Shawn's look darkened. "He said all the people here were too stuck-up. No, that's not right. They thought they were better than us so we shouldn't have anything to do with them."

Gene made an instant decision not to sugarcoat his words when Shawn talked about things Jared had done. "I guess that was one way to keep you from making friends," he said tightly.

"I guess. He said he was just keeping me from being embarrassed or hurt when they ignored me or…or said things behind my back."

"Well he was wrong. Most everyone who lives here are good people. You'll find that out in time. Hell, you know what, you should check out the Farmer's Market this Sunday. It's the last one for the season so everyone and their brother will be there."

"By myself?" Shawn looked panicked by that idea.

"I bet Linda and Max are going. Ask them."

"Oh."

Gene hid a smile. He had an idea why Shawn didn't seem too enthused by his suggestion. He was very tempted to say he'd go with him but wasn't sure that was such a good idea.

Fear - 33

"Doctor Collins," Robin, Gene's receptionist said from his office doorway, "Shawn Mathews is here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment though, so I thought I'd check with you first."

"When's my next patient due?"

"In fifteen minutes. It's Mrs. Smith."

Gene rolled his eyes. "What's the disease of the week this time?"

"Cat scratch fever. She says she got it from Mr. Wilkins' kitten and she's sure that's what it is because she's got a headache, chills, a backache, and her stomach hurts."

"We have to keep her away from the damned computer. At least she didn't go for something like malaria. All right, send Shawn in and when she gets here, take her to exam room one."

Shawn appeared a minute later, saying somewhat apologetically, "I only have a few minutes before I have to be back at work."

"Is something wrong? Are your ribs bothering you too much?" Gene asked, looking for any signs Shawn was in pain.

"Oh no. No. Nothing like that. I just… I wanted to thank you and I didn't get the chance to yesterday because you left so quickly and I wanted to know if maybe you'd let me buy you dinner to show you how glad I am you were there and…" At that point he seemed to run out of steam, twisting his hands together as he looked hopefully at Gene.

"Good Lord, you don't have to do that," Gene said, feeling a bit nonplussed.

"But I want to. Please."

"Okay, if you insist. But nowhere fancy. I don't do fancy if I can help it." And you probably can't afford more than the local burger joint.

"Yes!" Shawn pumped a fist in the air. "Do you like barbecue?"

"If it's Smokin's, you bet. When and what time?"

Shawn paused as if he hadn't thought that far ahead. "Umm, tomorrow night? I get off at six so…"

"I'll pick you up, unless you want to go home and clean up first. By the way, do you like being at Max's?"

"Oh yeah. I have my own room. Well, not mine really because it's his son's, but he's off to college so it's mine for now, I guess, and Mrs Spitzer's real nice and…"

Gene laughed. "You know you can take a breath between words now and then."

"I'm sorry." Shawn dropped his gaze, staring at the floor.

"Hey, that was not a reprimand, just a suggestion. Okay? I was teasing you."

"Okay." A look of relief flashed across Shawn's face. "I can clean up at work. I've got a locker and I'll bring some good jeans and a shirt and…" He took a deep breath. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

"Yep, and I'm not complaining. It's cute."

Shawn turned bright red. "I…umm… I should let you get back to work."

"All right. I'll see you tomorrow night if not before."

Shawn nodded hard and skittered out of the office. Gene smiled as he watched him go.

That was a surprise. A nice one but… I hope he's not expecting more than just using dinner to say thank you. And what if he is? Naw, he's just doing what he thinks is right is all.

He heard the jingle of the bell over the front door and turned his thoughts to how to deal with Mrs. Smith and her 'cat scratch fever'.

Fear - 32

Gene kept a careful eye on Shawn while everyone was eating. The pizzas were on one of the workbenches in the garage and everyone was sitting or standing near them. It was if they were afraid someone else would grab the piece they had their eye on if they moved too far away. Shawn had taken two slices and, at Ms Johnson's insistence, took the seat of honor, a battered barstool Max had acquired when the owners of the Blue Devil had redecorated a couple of years ago.

He looks tired, but happy. Happier than I've ever seen him. Gene smiled wryly. Not that I saw that much of him before he ended up in the hospital. Just here when I brought the car in, and the time I returned his phone. Who knew finding it would lead to this?

And then he wondered just what 'this' was. Probably nothing more than what it seemed, friendship with a nice kid who had needed someone to talk to and support him after all he'd been through.

He finished the last of his slice of pizza, wiped his fingers on an already greasy napkin, and tossed it in the trashcan. "Okay, guys, I'm out of here. I'd better check in at my office to let them know I'm back and see what havoc my patients have wrought with Doctor Rogers while I was gone."

Everyone gave him casual 'goodbyes' or waves before getting back to eating. Gene chuckled. Guess I can tell who's not important in this group.

He was almost to the door when someone grabbed his arm to stop him. Shawn stood there, a questioning look on his face. "Can I…will you be around tomorrow?"

"Sure. I do live here and I'm not planning on going anywhere for a while, other than to work."

"Great. I might maybe stop by?"

"And I might maybe like that," Gene replied with a laugh. "Sure, any time."

"Okay. I'll see you then."

Gene watched with a bit of amusement as Shawn instantly hurried back to his friends. Still he did wonder why Shawn had felt it necessary to ask if he'd be around. Oh well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow. If he actually shows up.

Fear - 31

After Ms Johnson left, Max took Shawn into his office, beckoning for Gene to join them.

"So how are you doing?" Max asked Shawn once the three men were seated.

"I'm getting better. Not perfect yet, not by a long shot, but better. And if you're asking because you think I can't handle the job yet…" Shawn paused, frowning. "Okay there's some things I probably won't be able to do for a bit, like leaning over an engine for an hour working on it. My ribs will protest big time, I'm afraid. But I can handle the simple jobs, honest."

"That was just the answer I hoped for. Not because I thought you couldn't do everything immediately like before, but because I wanted an honest answer, not a 'There's nothing wrong and I can do it all because I'm Superman'."

Shawn snorted. "I've never claimed to be him. I don't think anyone would believe it if I did. Clark Kent's more my style."

Max chuckled. "Very true. Okay, second question. How are you doing up here?" Max tapped his temple.

Shawn hesitated, turning to look at Gene.

"Just be as honest as you can be—or tell him it's none of his business," Gene said with a bit of a smile, patting Shawn's arm.

"He tells me that and he's fired," Max growled. Then he laughed at the look of horror on Shawn's face. "I'm kidding. Besides, it really isn't my business as long as you can do the work."

"I can, but…well… Okay, honestly, I finally realized something this morning. I…I still have to convince myself it's true, though."

"And what is that?" Max asked before Gene could.

"That I wasn't to blame. I didn't ask for what happened. Or, more, I didn't ask for it the way he tried to make me think I did." Shawn glanced at Gene. "There's still a lot I have to come to grips with, you know. But maybe I can, in time."

Gene smiled encouragingly. "I know you can. You're stronger than you think you are at the moment. It's not easy, but you can do it."

* * * *

Max watched the two men, one eyebrow cocked. It was apparent from the look on his face that he knew there was more going on than their words conveyed but he remained silent. Gene caught his expression and mouthed, 'Thanks'. Max nodded before saying, "Where the hell is that woman with our food? I'm starving."