Colin nodded, lowering his gaze to stare at the tabletop. "So it looks like I may be out of the business," he muttered more to himself than to the detective.
"For a while, yes. Is that so bad? Maybe you'll find something better, safer, to do instead."
Colin looked back at Keyes. "I like what I do. I thought I made that clear. One little glitch is not going to change that."
"Glitch, Colin?"
"Okay." Colin looked around to be certain no one was close enough to overhear them. "Glitch, rape, same thing. Right?"
"Wrong." Keyes hesitated before reaching out to take Colin's hand. "I'm sure Marc and Bill have done the best they can to see you through your…issues…and that's all to the good. You need people who care about what you're going through. But they can't really understand it because it hasn't happened to them."
"So you're saying I need to get counseling. Not happening. I'm doing just fine, I'll get past this." He tried to pull his hand away, but Keyes wouldn't let him.
"What you need, Colin, is to talk to someone who has an understanding about rape and what comes afterwards."
"A shrink."
"That's one option, yes, if you can find a decent one. That's not that easy to do."
"But you just happen to know the name of one you'd be happy to refer me to," Colin replied caustically.
Keyes shook his head. "I never found one."
Colin studied the handsome, dark-haired detective's somber face before nodding slowly. "And you needed one."
"It would have helped," Keyes replied, acknowledging the question behind Colin's words.
"How long ago, Dane?"
"Five years." He looked down at their hands, squeezing Colin's tightly for a moment. "It gets better, but it takes time."
"May I ask something?"
"Sure. What?"
"Were you…was it random?"
"It was the result of gay-bashing, which probably answers your next question, too. Three men who objected to my 'lifestyle' as they put it."
"Do your…do the cops you work with know?"
Keyes chuckled softly. "Yes and no. Some of them know I'm gay. None of them know I was raped. After it happened, I took some leave time to try to heal. Then when I came back, I threw myself into my work as a way of forgetting. I did that well enough that I earned my gold shield."
"But Marc said something about you working a lot on rape cases like mine. Doesn't that sort of throw it in your face on a daily basis?"
"Yes, but because of what happened I also have an insight into what the victims are going through. I like to think that maybe I make things just a bit easier for them because I'm not treating them as if they asked for what happened to them."
"I did," Colin said under his breath, his eyes downcast.
No comments:
Post a Comment