Safe Harbor – 28

After Kurt left, Bobby did shower, finger-brushed his teeth, and tried to tame his damp hair before wrapping a towel around his waist and going back into the bedroom.

He didn’t know why, after all it was Kurt's room, but Bobby was surprised to see him standing at the dresser. The man seemed unaware of his presence as he took off his collar then stared at it, a frown darkening his face.

Quietly, so as not to disturb him, Bobby crossed to where he’d dropped his backpack and silently took out a cleanish pair of well-worn sweat pants. After pulling them on he turned to find Kurt watching him in the dresser mirror. "Are you all right?"

Kurt nodded slowly. "Yes, I’m fine, just exhausted, which you should be too."

Bobby chuckled. "I’m a night owl, I’m used to being up late though usually not quite this late, or early, or whatever."

"I got you a sleeping bag, one which might actually keep you warm, not that it’s cold in here but… Anyway it’s on the bed."

"I see. Nice. Thanks."

"Anything else you need?"

"Umm…"

"If not, then get some sleep." Kurt carefully put the collar away, and then kicked off his shoes and tossed his wallet and keys in a dresser drawer.

Bobby hesitated then said, "Okay, look, I should keep my big yap closed ‘cause we’re both tired but something’s bugging you. Is it me? I know I’m not much and you’re probably having second thoughts about what you said the other night but if you are then tell me. I won’t get mad…just…so yeah, if it is then spit it out. Okay?"

Turning slowly, Kurt looked at him. "It’s not you. It’s me. I’m afraid of what I’m feeling, and why."

Bobby frowned. "Explain?"

"I’m not certain I can so it makes sense." Kurt leaned back against the dresser, staring down at the threadbare carpet. "That I’m gay is a given. That I’m attracted to you is a given as well, I think, and I get the idea you’re not impartial to me. But are my feelings…feelings? Or is it only because it’s been more time than I like to think about since anyone’s even been vaguely interested in me as a person and I’m reacting to that? If something… happened between us…" He sighed deeply. "The last thing I want to do is take advantage of your apparent interest and find out I just needed someone to give a damn about me as me for…for a while, not as a priest."

"First off, for what it’s worth, I do like you as a man. I’m damned glad you decided to dump the damned collar because it damned well made me feel like I shouldn’t let you know how I felt."

Kurt arched an eyebrow, slightly amused as the way he’d phrased his words.

Bobby got it and chuckled softly. "Too many ‘damned’s’? Probably should watch my language and I might have, maybe, if you were wearing the collar right now. But I meant what I said; it did get in the way. It’s the reason I haven’t been around so much any more. It’s hard to get past it you know. Yeah, before you say anything, I know you’re allowed to…to what…to be a person not just a priest, but still, damn, Kurt."

"That still doesn’t negate what I said. I need to figure out if my attraction to you is real or if it just comes from being alone for too long and having someone…"