"Don't worry; I've got plenty to keep me busy," Colin replied. "In fact I should get back to it, so feel free to leave any time now."
"Do you still hate me that much that you can't even accept my concern?" Shane asked.
"No, I don't hate you. I'm past that. Have been for a while. Now you're just a reminder of what could have been if you hadn't fucked things up."
"I wasn't the only one," Shane protested. "You had something to do with that, too."
"Yeah, I spent more time than you liked in the studio. Of course you were involved with your acting, more often than not, and don't deny it."
"Not always, and not twenty-four-seven," Shane retorted. "You…" He tried to tamp down the memory of how things used to be, and failed. "I'd be home during the day, when a show was up and running, and in the evenings when we had rehearsals. Did you give a damn? No. 'I'm in the middle of a painting, Shane.' 'Find something to keep you busy, Shane.' Meaning stay out of my space and my life except when I'm willing to let you back in again."
"That didn't give you the right…" Colin took a deep breath. "Let's not rehash everything. Thanks for letting me know about the murder and for…for what? Caring enough to make sure I'm all right? I am. It's a shock, but I'm dealing. So go do whatever. I've started a new painting and I need to get back to it."
"Of course you do," Shane replied as a wave of anger washed over him. You'll never change. Everyone and everything takes second place to your art. He stood, looked down at Colin, then turned away, striding quickly to the front door. "If you decide you need someone to talk to about this, call Thomas. I'm sure he'll listen. Me? Not so much, now. Coming here was a mistake I won't make again."
Shane slammed the door behind him as he left. "I wanted to help," he whispered as he walked to his car. "I wanted you to know I still care and I want to be here for you. But you couldn't give a damn, Colin. Like you said, I'm past history, and you won't ever forgive or forget."
* * * *
Longing flooded Colin as he watched Shane walk swiftly out of the house, angrily slamming the door. Why didn't I keep my mouth shut instead of trying to push him into rehashing everything that went wrong between us? He didn't have to come over. He could have called to tell me to watch the news and left it at that. He didn't. He… I think he meant it when he said he wanted to be here for me.
He sighed as he got up and went upstairs to the studio. "I should have accepted what he was offering instead of throwing it back in his face." Looking blindly at his work in progress, his thoughts went back to what they'd had together before Shane… No, before we both destroyed it. I was as much at fault as he was. I can admit it, now. Not that it'll do me any good. He shook himself and picked up his brushes. "I miss him being around, but that's it. I don't love him anymore. That's in the past." With that thought, he began painting, but in one corner of his mind he wondered if it was true.
They have some unresolved issues. Instead of getting hot headed they need to sit down and hash it out. Yes it does take work to make a relationship good. Shane had screwed around but Colin had a mistress in his painting.
ReplyDeleteI like your description, because, yes, painting was his mistress. They will need to do some serious talking if they're going to stand a chance of renewing their relationship.
DeleteThese do still have feelings.
ReplyDeleteYes, they do.
Delete