One Plus Two Equals… - 32

"Screw you!" Julyan growled angrily. And yet he didn't try to pull away from Auden's hold on him. He looked into those amber eyes, sank into their gaze, and kissed him. It was like kissing fire. Heat seemed to course through him. He tried to end it, to break free of the passion which was devouring him. Never had he shared a kiss as intense as this one. Panicked, he put his hands against Auden's chest, forcing him away.

Auden let him, a strange smile on his face.

Julyan was shaking, his voice barely a whisper. "What did you do to me?"

"Kissed you." Auden traced the tip of his finger over Julyan's lips. "Kissed you the way I've wanted to. Not as a game but with…" His face seemed to crumble. "I need to go. I have to…" He was on his feet in one fluid motion. Gently he drew his fingers over Julyan's eyelids and Julyan closed them. "It was only a dream, Julyan, nothing more. Just a dream," Auden murmured.

When Julyan opened his eyes Auden was gone. "Just a dream." He touched his lips. "No, no, not a dream."

Hands gripped his shoulders from behind. Half turning, he looked up into Duane's face, saw fear and desire in his eyes. "Kiss me," Julyan begged, a sob in his voice.

Duane did, his lips soft and gentle against Julyan's, his tongue teasing, seeking entrance. Julyan opened to him as he had to Auden. Again he was engulfed in the heat of a kiss, however this one held more than just blazing need, although that was there. It was the caring, perhaps even love which united them and Julyan fell into it, not wanting this kiss to end.

It had to though. The need to breathe demanded it. They broke apart and Duane's eyes searched Julyan's. "It wasn't a dream."

"I know." Julyan looked away. "It was him."

Duane nodded. "He needed…to feel something. To connect in a way he rarely can, if only for a moment." He sat, easing Julyan onto his lap. "Don't hate him for that."

"How could I? He's as much a part of you as you are of him. He terrifies me, but…"

"You still feel something for him."

"Yes," Julyan whispered. "Is that horrible of me? It's not what I feel for you, it could never be, but still…"

"It's not horrible, it's human." Duane kissed his temple. "The lure of the forbidden, at least I think that's what you're feeling."

Turning his head, Julyan looked plaintively at Duane. "I wish I knew."

"Juls…" Duane hesitated before continuing. "If you…if you want to find out…"

Julyan shook his head almost violently. "I don't! How could I? It would be a betrayal of all I feel for you."

The relief Duane felt was written starkly on his face.  His whispered, "Thank you," cut off when Julyan's mouth took his in yet another kiss. It continued as he lifted Julyan from his lap into his arms, stood, and carried him to the bedroom, ending only because it was nearly impossible to undress otherwise. As they fell onto the bed, Duane murmured, "I think we're past just caring."

"And into love," Julyan said softly. But deep down inside, as much as he tried to deny it, there was still the burning question. What would he do if Auden appeared again?