Guardian Angels – Ambivalent – 30

Paddy made it halfway through his meal before saying, "You like him, don't you?"

Mike chuckled. "I wondered when you were going to ask. The answer is, I don't know him well enough to say one way or the other. He seems like a nice guy. I think from the way he was acting he's possibly gay, but I'm not going to bet the house on that."

"The way he kept watching you at the shelter, I would. I tried to tell myself it was just his getting to know how you acted and reacted so he'd pick up on it if something was wrong. I'm not sure I was right."

"Well, as I said, since I barely know him how can I say I like him?"

"But you find him interesting."

Mike thought about that and nodded. "In a way I suppose. Does that bother you?"

"A bit I guess. You're…we've become friends. I don't want you to get hurt."

Resting his elbows on the table, cupping his chin is his hands, Mike studied Paddy. "Is that how you see us? As just friends?"

"At this point, yes," Paddy replied. "There was a time when I wished we could be more. That's not…practical and I'm not the kind of man who is willing to take advantage of a situation for a night or two of"—he smiled wryly—"unbridled sex with no strings attached."

"And that's all it would be?"

"Yes. When this is over I'll move on. So"—he reached over to grip Mike's arm—"if you're resisting any feelings you might think you have for Link because…well… Okay, however I put it, it would sound egotistical."

"Because at one point maybe I felt the same way you did? I was betwixt and between you know." Mike laid his hand over Paddy's. "I really was. First I'd tell myself I found you more than interesting. Then I'd decide that was just because of the situation. Or perhaps it wasn't. I couldn't make up my mind and I still can't."

"But you're not willing to find out one way or the other?"

"You said it yourself. When this is over you'll be moving on. I suspect that doesn't mean to another job for Vic that would keep you here in the city."

"No, it doesn't." Paddy smiled ruefully. "I'm not one to stick around in one place for too long. So, probably, if we did have feelings for each other that went beyond just friendship…"

"You'd still leave when the wanderlust hit you again. I understand. Still, it might have been interesting to find out if…if there was more."

Paddy nodded. "It might have been," he said softly.

But that wasn't going to happen. It never really could have. So stop acting like a jealous idiot when Link's around. If they decide to find out if there could be something between them—and for damned sure it's too soon to tell—don't interfere. My job is to keep Mike safe. That's it. End of story. Feelings don't enter into that. They can't. I… I can't let them.

"Paddy," Mike said, squeezing his hand, "are you all right with this?"

"Yeah, I am. Now let's finish eating and then get some sleep. Sooner or later Keefe is going to show his hand and when he does we all have to be alert and ready to stop him, and catch him before some one, namely you, gets hurt."