Never Again – 31

 

"Joe?"

Cal's voice brought Joseph back from his memories. He looked at the large fish Cal was holding and nodded. "Very nice."

Like a young boy whose father hadn't really acknowledged his accomplishment, Cal's face fell. Immediately feeling guilty, Joseph smiled up at him. "Actually more than nice. That one alone should make a good supper for us."

"Great!" Cal went to get Joseph's creel. When he opened it, he chuckled. "I take it you didn't really expect us to catch anything," he said when he removed the sandwiches Joseph had carefully made and packed in it that morning. Putting the fish into the creel, he set it in the water to keep it cold.

"I was just hedging our bets?"

"Right." Cal shook his head. Going back to where he'd left his pack, he took out two beers, handing one to Joseph before sitting down on their rock again. "Shit," he muttered as he popped his open and it spewed out foam.

"Should have stuck them in the water too," Joseph told him as he carefully held his at arms-length to open it. When the foam subsided, he took a deep drink, staring out over the water.

They were silent for a few moments. Then Cal asked, "Are you all right? All of a sudden you seem, I don't know. I guess sort of the way I usually am, like smiling will break your face and talking… well, you're usually the one who does that."

"You talk too, when you're in the mood."

"I guess. But you still didn't answer my question. Is something bothering you."

"No," Joseph snapped, relenting seconds later. "I'm sorry. No, I'm fine. I was just remembering something. Something from… a few years ago."

"Something bad I take it, considering how fast your mood changed."

"Good and bad—let's forget it, all right? We're here to enjoy ourselves." He took another drink. "So when was the last time you really went fishing? Not just goofing around like now."

"Damn." Cal frowned. "A long time ago, for the real thing. I mean, I take it seriously but I don't fixate on having to catch something. Still, there was a time about four years ago. I went to England for some R&R during my deployment, since I didn't want to visit my parents. I was in the Lake District when I met a guy who thought life revolved around fishing. So—" smiling a bit sourly, "—we decided to have a competition. Needless to say, he won but not by much." He shook his head slowly, looking down at the water lapping the bank. "He wanted more as his reward than I was willing to give. I guess I should consider myself lucky he was only guessing I might be interested. I managed to convince him I didn't swing that way." He looked back at Joseph. "So that's my one and only story about 'real' fishing."

"Definitely—different." After considering whether to say something, he did. "It must have been hard under Don't Ask Don't Tell."

Cal shrugged. "The whole thing was stupid in my opinion but since there wasn't any choice, I lived with it. It's not like I had anyone in my life, so I managed." Picking up a small stone, he tossed it from hand to hand, smiling slightly. "So now it's not a secret any more between us. Not that it has been for a while, I suppose."

"Not really." Joseph watched the stone, not daring to look at Cal for fear he'd see something in his eyes he wasn't certain he could deal with.

"Look, Joe, I don't want you thinking—well, you know—that I'm somehow telling you all this because, well… damn it!" Cal straightened, throwing the stone hard out over the lagoon. The splash when it hit the water sounded loud in the sudden silence between them.

"Cal, I'm a big boy now. I think I understand things as well as the next guy and I know you were opening up to me, probably like you haven't to anyone in a long time. I guess you could say I'm flattered you trust me enough to do that."

"But that's it. You're just flattered."

Seeing the hurt on Cal's face, Joseph couldn't help what he said next, even though he knew better. "You're an interesting man and I'm attracted to you. I'll admit that."

"Attracted, but you're not going to let it go further than that."

Joseph sighed. "If I did, we'd both get hurt."

"Why? And isn't that always a risk no matter what? A man and a woman take the same risk and sometimes it works and sometimes it ends badly. But still…" Cal jumped to his feet. "Oh hell, never mind. I should have kept my damned mouth shut," he said angrily as he strode back to his pack, taking out another beer. Apparently in his anger he forgot what happened with the first can because he popped to top on this one then started swearing as it spewed all over him.

Joseph looked at the beer frothing down Cal's front and started laughing. For a minute Cal scowled at him then he was laughing too. Once started, it took a long time for them to calm down again.

Cal came over, dropping down beside Joseph, still chuckling. "I might have needed a bath in this heat" he said as he stripped off his shirt, "but not with beer."

Joseph swallowed hard. Cal's naked torso was something to behold. It was all rippling muscle with the dark nipples standing out in contrast against his lightly tanned flesh. He looked up and something passed between them—a feeling, a need.

Suddenly their lips locked together in a hard kiss, Cal's hands scrambling for the hem of Joseph's shirt. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull the shirt up and off him, and then they were kissing again.

Hunger flooded Joseph. Desire, which had been suppressed for so long, broke free. He fought it and he lost. Or, he decided much later as he lay completely sated in Cal's arms, perhaps he had won.