Will knew what she meant and replied, "You did what you thought was best. And maybe… no, definitely it was. There's no way you could have explained that his father was a drunken sot who ran away from his problems instead of facing them."
"But you're not like that," she protested vehemently.
"I was, at the end." He took her hand, glad when she didn't resist. "I know the beat cops saw me. I'm pretty damned sure they told you. So as far as you knew, before you packed up and moved away, that's exactly what I was."
She shook her head. "I should have had more faith in you. I should have tried harder to find you—to tell you I was sorry."
"You can't find someone who doesn't want to be found. You should know that." He chuckled softly. "Given that I was an undercover detective, I was an expert at hiding when I had to. Drunk or sober, that was ingrained in me."
Mira nodded slowly. "I suppose it was. But why…?" She paused, frowning. "Why, when you sobered up, did you continue to live on the streets?"
Will shrugged. "Why not? My life… the life I'd led before, was over, as far as I was concerned. As I once told Mick, the street life isn't a bad life and there's a certain freedom to it, to not having to be responsible to anyone but yourself."
"Yet you made yourself responsible for him."
"More like he kept tagging along until I decided it was easier to let him hang out with me than otherwise."
"Uh-huh. And make him study and go for his GED, so he could get off the streets. Will, if he can do that, so can you. You've got a son who needs his father."
"He's got a wonderful mother. He doesn't really need me."
"Yes," she said very softly, "he does. We both do."
He looked at her in disbelief. "You're saying, after all that happened, you actually want me around?"
She nodded. "There hasn't been a day since you disappeared that I haven't thought about you. I loved you, you know that." She took a deep breath. "I still do."
"Then you need to get your head examined." He almost smiled, adding, "Mine already has been, so now it's your turn." He sobered quickly, trying to take in what she was saying. "Look at me, Mira. I'm nothing. A bum. Sure, for a few days I became someone else, to keep Kevin safe, but now…" He shrugged.
"Excuse my French, but bullshit. You're the man you always were. A man who cares about people. So for a while you've been… out of the loop, so to speak, but even so, you were still you. You helped Mick. He says you've helped other people; especially the ones who you saw were going to be harmed if you didn't step in. It's time for you to come out of your self-imposed hiding and take responsibly for who you really are—a good cop, a good man, a father, and the man I happen to still love."
"Maybe," he said softly.
"No damned 'maybe' about it. You're going to do it. Got that?"
He laughed, unbelievable happiness filling him. "You always were bossy."
"Yep. That's why I became a cop," she replied with a grin. Then she moved close enough to kiss him. "So… deal with it."
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her back. I will. Not that I've got much choice I suspect, knowing her. And damn it, this feels right. So right.
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