Don't Touch Me! - 44

 

The first thing Brent did when he got to the station was call Walt to tell him what had gone down. Then he handed his phone to the officer. Cody wasn't really too surprised when, moments later, the officer handed the phone back, saying, "I'll need statements from both of you, but given the circumstances, I'm not going to arrest you, Mr. Harding. Unfortunately, I have no reason to arrest Mr. Garey, the man you hit, despite what Mr. Paige told us about him."

"Figures," Brent muttered.

They were escorted into an interrogation room where they gave their statements to the officer. As they left, half an hour later, they saw Garey in handcuffs.

"I thought…" Cody said to the officer.

"It seems Mr. Garey had a couple of warrants out on him for assault and battery."

Cody sighed with relief. "At least he'll be punished for something, if not what he did to me."

"One can hope," Brent said. "Okay, let's call a cab and get you home."

"But what about lunch?"

Brent just stared at him for a moment, then laughed. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"I'm hungry." He really wasn't, but he didn't want to admit he was still too shaken by what had happened to go home, where all he'd do was think about it. It would be easier to regain his composure if he was somewhere neutral, where he had to act…normal.

"Okay, my man, let's get you fed." Brent slung his arm over Cody's shoulders as they walked out of the police station. When they were on the sidewalk, he said, "You may have fooled the officer, but not me. You're shaking like a leaf."

"From hunger," Cody replied defiantly.

"Bull. Shit." Brent glanced around and pointed. "They have decent food and cheap beer. Let's go."

Cody let himself be let to the tiny restaurant, muttering "Don't baby me."

"When have I ever?" Brent retorted.

The place wasn't crowded, much to Cody's relief. They found a vacant table in the back and soon had beer. Cody took a hefty swallow, willing himself to relax. Finally, he was able to say candidly, "I wish I'd had the guts to do what you did, but…"

"You would have. I just beat you to it."

Cody snorted. "I've never hit anyone in my life. I don't know how to. If I tried, I probably wouldn't do any damage."

"Then I'll teach you," Brent told him in no uncertain terms. He took a drink before saying acidly, "I hope they throw the book at the bastard."

"You and me both," Cody replied, scrubbing his hand through his hair. "I wonder if the other men are wandering around somewhere too."

"There's one way to find out if they're still in the city, but not until tomorrow. I don't think Walt would appreciate me asking him to have a serious talk with Garey until then."

"Will he be willing to do that?"

"Probably. I gave him a quick rundown about why I coldcocked Garey, so he knows what's what."

Don't Touch Me! - 43

 

"You have two choices," Brent said harshly to the man. "Apologize to Cody and mean it, or don't, in which case I'll call a cop friend of mine to deal with you."

"Apologize to this fag?" the man snarled. "He got what he deserved. Ask his father."

"We can't. He's been dead for the last three years."

"The hell, you say."

"Guess the two of you weren't such good friends after all." Brent looked hard at the man. "Or were you friends at all?"

"I met him in a bar. He was going on and on about his fag kid and how he needed to be taught a lesson."

Cody gasped. "You mean he…he hired you?"

"Naw. We did it for free."

Brent scowled. "Well, bud, this is for free, from me." Pulling back his fist, he swung, landing a hard blow to the man's jaw. The man collapsed on the pavement without a sound.

"You didn't," Cody said, both amazed and horrified.

"Yeah, I did. The bastard deserved it."

Several people were moving closer at that point, some shocked, others just interested in what had happened. Brent looked at them, saying, "Nothing to see here, folks. Just a bit of well-deserved payback."

"For?" one of the men asked belligerently.

"That is none of your business."

"It is mine," a police officer said, coming up beside Brent.

Brent sighed, glancing at Cody. "Your choice."

Cody took a deep breath as he walked over to take Brent's hand, looking down at his bruised knuckles. Then he pointed to the man on the ground. "When I was younger, this man and some of his friends beat me up and left me for dead." Not quite true, but close enough, as far he was concerned.

"Can you prove it?" the officer asked.

"I can tell you what hospital I ended up at, if that helps."

The officer looked at the man, who was just starting to come to, then at Brent and Cody. "Let's take this down to the station to straighten it out."

"Fine with me," Brent replied.

"Me too," Cody agreed. He had no desire to have everyone watching hear his story.

The officer's partner came over to haul the man to his feet and escort him to the patrol car. Meanwhile, the first officer took Brent and Cody's particulars before telling them he expected them to follow him to the station.

"We didn't come by car," Brent told him.

"Then the two of you get to share ours with your…friend."

Cody wasn't happy about that but with no choice, he and Brent got in.

 

Don't Touch Me! - 42

 

For the next two weeks, Cody and Brent saw each other as much as possible, considering Brent's work schedule. They traded stories about their childhoods, talked about books they liked—and didn't like. And watched more television than any man should, according to Cody, who wasn't a big fan of the medium. "Probably because my mother was glued to it every second she was awake," was his explanation when Brent asked.

There was one advantage to being occasional couch potatoes. They cuddled, exchanging kisses during commercials. They did nothing more, however. Cody had the strong feeling Brent wasn't willing to push, afraid Cody might have an adverse reaction to more intimate exploration. Since Cody wasn't all that certain himself if it might happen, he was willing to leave things the way they were—for the time being.

Two Sunday's after their aborted foray to the restaurant for lunch, Cody suggested they try again, although maybe at a less popular place. "I'm getting more and more…relaxed, I suppose, around other people." He grinned. "I even went grocery shopping last night. Real shopping, not online. Okay, it was late, when I knew the store wouldn't be packed with people, but I did it and survived."

"And without me for backup. I'm not certain if I should be proud of you or hurt that you didn't need me," Brent replied with a wink. "I think pride wins though, hands down. So where do you want to go eat?"

"You know Nova's?"

"Yep. A bit far to walk to, however."

"Wuss. It's only three miles. We'll work up an appetite."

"The things I do for you," Brent grumbled. He was still muttering, although only in a teasing way, when they saw the restaurant two blocks ahead of them.

Cody had just told him, for the tenth time, to grow a pair, when he caught sight of a man turning the corner ahead of them. He sucked in a breath, turning swiftly to start back the way they'd come.

"What?" Brent asked, grabbing Cody's hand to stop him.

Cody was shaking so hard he could barely get out, "The man in the blue shirt…"

"I see him," Brent said, looking back momentarily.

"He was… He's one of the men…"

Brent tightened his grip, pulling Cody close. "Who beat you up?"

Cody could only nod as the terror he'd felt when it happened returned.

"Stay here," Brent ordered, leading Cody to the doorway of a closed repair shop. "I'm going to have a few words with him."

"You can't."

Apparently Brent disagreed. He strode determinedly forward, catching the man just as he was about to enter a bar across the street from the restaurant. Cody couldn't hear what was being said, but from the look on the man's face when Brent grabbed his shoulder and pointed to Cody was enough. The man scowled, shaking his head. Brent said something that the man obviously protested, then, without releasing his hold on the man, Brent walked him back to where Cody was standing.

 

Don't Touch Me! - 41

Apparently, Brent did, because there was nothing tentative about his response. The kiss was warm with the promise there would be more of them in their future. He pulled away, grinning. "As you were saying, you never expected…"

"You, me, us…" Cody entwined his fingers with Brent's, holding up their hands. "Like this."

"We haven't gotten quite that far," Brent replied, laughing.

Cody felt the heat rising on his face and knew he was probably bright red. Brent hugged him—now chuckling with amusement. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"You didn't. Well, not really. I was just…" He looked away.

"It will happen. Not today, not tomorrow, but eventually, when we're both certain it's what we want." Brent stood, pulling Cody to his feet. "I don't think we're ready yet, in spite of how we seem to feel about each other."

"I know. I'm not into moving fast and regretting it later." Cody looked up at Brent. "I want us to agree this is the real thing, with all it entails."

"Exactly."

With their arms around each other's waist, they walked slowly back to Cody's house. When they got there, they sat on the front porch, watching Cody's neighbors do Sunday things.

"Mother used to complain about the noise the kids made, said it disturbed her watching TV," Cody commented at one point. "I think it was more that she wished she could be out here, talking to the neighbors the way she used to before she became housebound."

"I feel sorry for her, if that's the case. I hesitate to ask, but…"

Cody understood Brent's unasked question. "Did she know the truth about what my father did to me? I don't think so. I'll never know, of course, but her attitude toward him was the same afterward, and I can't believe she could still have loved him as much as she did had she known."

Brent's reply was to hug Cody tightly as he said, "Then I'm sure she didn't."

They remained like that for a while, before Brent said, "I'm going to leave so you can get back to your book." When Cody looked at him in surprise, Brent grinned. "As I've said before, I want you to finish the damned thing so I can read it. It won't happen if I hang around."

Cody laughed. "You're crazy. You know that, don't you? But, okay, I'll let you go. When will I see you again?"

"Every day, if I have anything to say about it. Unfortunately some of my clients might have other thoughts. I'll call though, for sure." Brent smiled, leaning in to kiss Cody. When Cody returned it, Brent said, "Now I can leave happy." He got up, dropped another quick kiss on Cody's lips when the younger man looked up at him then strolled down to where he'd parked his car.

Cody watched him, smiling, waving back when Brent waved goodbye. I think I'm in love. No, I know I am. Now if he loves me…and I think he does… With that thought, he went inside, made coffee, and retired to his study to get back to work on the book.

Don't Touch Me! - 40

 

"Penny for your thoughts," Brent said.

"I was… Nothing important."

"You are very important," Brent replied, apparently misunderstanding Cody. "At least to me."

Cody ducked his head. "As a friend."

"More than a friend. I thought we already established that."

"I… I keep wondering if it's just… If what you think what you're feeling is the result of your need to be protective. The same thing that makes you a good detective—to keep the client safe."

"No," Brent said, cupping Cody's jaw to make him look up. "Take my word for it; I've never felt this way about a client until I met you. Yeah, I want to fix their problems, if I can. With you, it's more. It's become very personal. And before you take it the wrong way, I mean you've become important to me beyond just helping you regain the life you deserve." He brushed the pad of his thumb over Cody's lips. "I want to be part of that life—your life. And not, my man, as just a friend."

Cody gazed at him, trying to read the truth behind Brent's words. "You mean it, don't you?" he replied in disbelief.

"Yes." Brent leaned closer, gently kissing him before pulling away again. "You don't have to reciprocate my feelings. I'll understand."

"But I do. I think you are the most wonderful man I've ever met. And I'm not saying that because of what you've done for me, although God knows it's been more than I can ever repay. I only wish…" He sighed.

"What, Cody?"

"I wish I'd met you years ago, when you could have known the real me."

"I do know the real you, and I like what I see—a man who, in spite of all he's been through, managed to survive and become a decent, caring person."

"I didn't 'survive'. I hid," Cody protested.

"I disagree. It wasn't hiding. It was your mind protecting you from the consequences of a truly vicious act. If it hadn't, you might have destroyed yourself and the world would have lost an exceptional author and a wonderful person."

"I wonder…" Cody said slowly. "Is what he did to me where my stories come from? Not literally, but is the horror I write the result, even though I didn't remember it?"

"Possible, I suppose."

"Oh boy. Now that I know…" Cody shook his head.

Brent took Cody's hand. "If you're afraid you'll lose your ability to write, I don't see it happening. You have a talent that's an inherent part of who and what you are. Perhaps the tone of your books will change, but they'll always be wonderful."

Cody smiled. "I think you're a bit prejudiced."

"You bet I am, but it doesn't mean I'm not right."

"Where would I be now, if it wasn't for you," Cody said quietly.

"At home, writing."

"That is not what I meant."

"I know, but since we can't go back in time and find out…"

"Yeah, I'd rather not do that." He traced his finger along the contours of Brent's face. "I never expected, the day I walked into your office…" Rather than finishing his thought, Cody kissed Brent. It was tentative. In spite of the fact Brent had kissed him, he didn't want to presume Brent wanted the kiss to be returned.

Don't Touch Me! - 39

 

"When was the last time you were out in public?" Brent asked Cody. "Other than to get your mother's meds."

They were standing to one side of the hostess counter at the restaurant, waiting for their names to be called. Brent had positioned himself so he was between Cody and the other people close by.

"A year ago, at the grocery store," Cody told him. He looked around anxiously, pressing closer to the wall behind him. At the same time, he said, "You don't have to protect me."

"I'm not. There's no room beside you," Brent retorted with a smile.

"Uh-huh." Without thinking, Cody slid to one side, bumping into a man who seemed to appear out of nowhere. The man put out his hand to stop Cody, touching his arm in the process. Cody suddenly felt breathless, his pulse racing. He pushed off the wall, trying not to run as he headed for the restaurant door.

Brent was right behind him and the moment they got to the sidewalk he said, "Cody, stop. Breathe."

Cody bent over, his hand on his knees, trying desperately to regain his composure. "I guess…" he managed to get out.

"You're not quite ready for a public appearance," Brent said. "Come on. Let's walk it off."

Cody gulped in some air, straightened, and said dolefully, "I thought I'd be okay. I mean… Mrs. Grainger…"

"She's a friend, someone you know fairly well. You trust her." Putting his arm around Cody's waist, Brent told him softly, "It's going to take time for it to happen with strangers. Until then—"

"Baby steps, like you said. No diving right in anymore."

"I'm afraid so. You will beat it, just not in two days. So, since we're not eating lunch in a restaurant, how about I pick us up something from"—Brent looked around—"there, and we go to the park?"

"Can I have a kiddies' meal?" Cody asked, trying to smile.

Brent laughed. "If that's what you want, that's what you get. Come on. You can wait outside."

Brent actually got both of them burgers, fries and sodas. The park was busy when they got there but they managed to find an empty bench well away from the general hubbub. While they ate, Brent told Cody the story of how he'd become a PI.

"So that's why you and Walt are friends," Cody said when Brent finished. "Do you ever wish you'd chosen to be a cop instead?"

"Not once. I like being my own boss." Brent smiled wryly. "Well, as much as I can be, considering I have to cater to my clients if I want to stay in business. At least I have the option of saying no when someone wants to hire me."

"Did you think about turning me away when I first came to your office?"

Brent shook his head. "I was intrigued by the whole thing, and you weren't being pushy about my having to take your case. Besides which, how many times will I get to help a famous author like you who's in trouble?"

"Probably never, because I'm not that famous."

Brent snorted. "Don't kid yourself. You are. Maybe not like King or Koontz or Straub, but you're up there."

Cody beamed and blushed at the same time, earning him a soft laugh and a hug from Brent. Cody leaned into it, savoring their closeness. It had been too long since he'd been able to feel… Safe? Cared for? He turned his head to study Brent. Do I like him because he's helping me, or is there more to it than that? We seem to connect, but is it just my imagination?

Don't Touch Me! - 38

Cody approached Mrs. Grainger's house nervously. She wasn't in the front yard and he wondered if she was even home. "Maybe she's at church."

"Maybe not," Brent replied when the front door opened. Mrs. Grainger came down the steps, her arms laden with plants. Cody hurried to help her, much to her obvious surprise.

"Put them over there, dear," she said, pointing to one of the flowerbeds. She joined him, thanking him when he relieved her of the other plants then stepping back. "You look…happy."

"I am. I think…" Cody held out his hand, a gesture which was becoming almost automatic now.

She looked at his hand, then up at him. "Are you certain? I mean…" She chuckled. "I don't want to watch you go into a meltdown again. It was not fun."

"I don't think that will happen, but…" He smiled hopefully. "Are you willing to take the chance?" Cody was aware of Brent coming up behind him and felt Brent's hand on his shoulder.

"Well, if he can do it," Mrs. Grainger said with a grin. "I'm not about to be outdone." She gently took hold of Cody's hand.

For a moment, Cody felt a wave of panic. He knew it showed when he heard Brent say, as if from a distance, "You can do it." Taking a deep breath, Cody held his hand still and the fear faded, replaced by deep relief.

"Are you all right, dear?" Mrs. Grainger asked, even though she didn't release his hand.

"I'm fine. Honest."

"Good. Now if you don't mind, there are two more trays of plants just inside the front door."

"No problem." He went to get them, smiling when he heard her say to Brent, "I bet this is your doing."

"I encouraged him. That's all. The rest is his believing he's better now."

"Thanks to you," Cody said, returning to set the plants down beside the others.

"So, where are you two off to on such a lovely morning?" Mrs. Grainger asked.

"I'm taking him out to lunch," Brent told her.

"How lovely." She leaned in to kiss Cody's cheek. "Have fun and eat a lot. You're too thin by half."

"Well, since apparently he's paying…"

Brent groaned. "There goes the cash I was going to spend on a couple of new books."

They all laughed. Mrs. Grainger gave both men quick hugs, and Cody and Brent continued on their walk to the restaurant.

 

Don't Touch Me! - 37

 

"Damn," Brent said suddenly. "I totally forgot. Walt called me this morning."

"They caught Findley?"

"Nope, but the FBI has been brought in, and they know where he is. It's just a matter of time before they arrest him."

"Yes!" Cody gave a fist pump, then, much to Brent's shock, he hugged him. Cody instantly backed away, turning red as he murmured, "I hope you… I didn't mean to…"

Brent smiled, putting one arm around Cody's waist to bring him close again. "Feel free to hug me any time you want. I rather liked it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I've grown very fond of you, so being hugged by you is…nice."

Cody sighed. "Like…family."

"Good God, no."

Brightening, Cody replied, "Okay. I just wanted to clarify. For damned sure I don't think of you as family. Not even as the big brother I never had."

Brent grinned. "Good, because I'm not into incest." He stepped away, tapping Cody's nose. "I am into seeing if we maybe have something going on here that's more than just friendship." He felt a rush of relief when Cody's expression lit up at his words. Still, he had to add a qualifier. "We're not going to rush things, however. You've made great progress in the last couple of days—"

"But we don't know if I am cured," Cody broke in. "It could just be when I'm with you that I can let myself be touched. I could go off the deep end if anyone else does it, especially strangers."

"Exactly. At least for a while." Brent rapped a knuckle on the counter. "I have an idea. Let's go talk to Mrs. Grainger on our way to lunch. You said she's touchy-feely, so to speak."

"Yeah, but not since the time at the grocery store. You saw that. What happened scared her almost as much as it did me."

"Yeah, I noticed she was very careful to keep her distance yesterday. Still, she might be a good one to test if it is just me. She's friendly. You know her, so hopefully you'll be okay."

"Then let's do it, before I get cold feet."

 

Don't Touch Me! - 36

 

It was almost ten Sunday morning and Brent was about head over to Cody's house when his phone rang. It was Walt, who announced after identifying himself, "We know where Findley is."

"Great. You're on your way to arrest him, I hope."

"Well I'm not, since he's halfway across the country. Having killed five people at this point, all but the last in the same manner, he's officially listed as a serial killer and the FBI has been brought in. They should have him in custody by the end of the day, according to the agent I spoke with. After that, it's in their hands."

"He may regret the day he decided killing his wife was a better option than just divorcing her."

"No kidding."

They chatted for a few moments before hanging up. Feeling elated by Walt's news, Brent called Cody to let him know he was on his way, and took off.

"You look almost human today," Brent said, grinning, when Cody opened the door. "You must have slept well."

"I did, thanks to you."

Brent lifted one eyebrow in amusement. "I wasn't here to tuck you in, so I don't think I can take any credit."

"You know what I mean." Cody held out his hand. "I have coffee made, if you'd like some."

Brent gripped Cody's hand, keeping a careful eye on the younger man to make certain he didn't show any signs of panic.

Cody didn't. Instead he smiled happily, tugging Brent toward the kitchen. "Coffee, and if you want, breakfast—or brunch, I guess." He paused, looking squarely at Brent. "I'm, if not cured, at least on my way. I guess the next test will be my meeting other people and letting them touch me."

Brent laughed. "You're going to walk into a store or restaurant and holler, 'Touch me'? I think you'd be arrested for solicitation or something."

Rolling his eyes, Cody replied, "I won't be that obvious. I'm not crazy." He sobered suddenly. "At least not anymore."

"Cody, you never were. You had a problem you had no control over until last night. Now you do. But don't rush into things, if you get what I'm saying. Baby steps, my man. Baby steps."

"What about… Have you had breakfast?"

"Yep."

"Oh." Cody looked crestfallen. "I was thinking…"

"That's always a good thing. If you meant we could go out to eat, why not do lunch?"

"That works." Cody poured them both coffees. "Do you think I'm ready?"

Leaning against the counter, Brent took a drink before replying seriously, "I can't tell you if you are or not. You're the only one who knows. But, I'll be there with you to give you moral support."

"That's all I need. Someone who believes in me."

"I'm fairly certain I'm not the only one who does."

Cody shrugged. "I've pretty much lost track of any friends I had."

"Then maybe it's time to reconnect?"

"Maybe. We'll see."

 

Don't Touch Me! - 35

 

Cody shivered, fighting the fear and the need to snatch his hand back.

"You're trembling," Brent said, his gaze filled with understanding. "I think we'll stop for tonight." He traced one finger lightly down the length of Cody's hand and sat back. "We don't want you so traumatized you won't be willing to try again tomorrow."

"It… I won't let it rule me," Cody repeated after taking a deep breath. "Now that I know, I'm not going to let my fear conquer me ever again."

"That's my man," Brent said. "But for now, you're exhausted, physically and mentally. You need sleep."

"To knit up the raveled sleeve of care?" Cody quoted with a quirky smile.

"Umm, yeah, sure."

"Macbeth. Shakespeare."

"I knew that."

Cody laughed. "Sure you did."

"There's that smile again. The one I like."

"Now, maybe, you'll see it more often."

Brent nodded. "I plan on it." He got up, waiting for Cody, then they walked to the front door. "I suspect coffee just before bed wasn't the greatest idea."

"I do it all the time. I bet you do too."

Brent chuckled. "Well, now that you mention it… Okay, let me out, set the alarm then get your butt up to bed."

"Planning on it." Cody tried to unlock the door, only to realize it already was. He looked at Brent with feigned annoyance. "You didn't lock up."

"Yeah, well I had my hands full, and I was more worried about you than anything else."

"Figured." He opened the door. "I'll see you tomorrow? Well, today, I guess, since I bet it's after midnight."

"It is, and you will." For a second Brent hesitated before lightly touching Cody's hand. "Sleep well."

Cody was startled enough to pull away, clenching his hands, before he realized it was only surprise, not fear, he felt. He sighed in relief, clasping Brent's hand for a long moment. Brent rubbed the back of Cody's hand with his thumb. "Tomorrow, then. I'll call first."

"Okay." He watched as Brent walked to his car, and when Brent waved, he waved back. "I am going to be all right now, I think," he murmured, going back inside. "At least with him, and I hope with everyone."

 

Don't Touch Me! - 34

 

"They beat the hell out of me," Cody whimpered. "One of them pulled my arms around behind the tree to hold me there. The other two…" he unashamedly wiped away a tear. "My father stood there, watching, this sick smile on his face, while they pummeled me.

"God damn it!" Brent swore vehemently.

"It's okay," Cody said. "I forgot what they did so…" He shuddered.

"How did they explain? I mean, you must have had injuries."

"My father said I fell down one of the cliffs by the river. When I came to afterward, I was at the bottom of the cliff, with my father and a couple of other people bending over me. One of them, a woman, was checking—" he smiled sourly, "—my vitals. Apparently she was the factory's nurse. She had them carry me back. Then my folks took me to the hospital. I spent three days there, in part because the doctors wanted to make sure I didn't have a concussion or internal damages. They were worried because I couldn't remember why I was at the top of the cliff in the first place." Cody gazed off into space. "I believed the story, because, well, I had no reason not to. I mean—" he tapped the side of his head, "—for whatever reason, I blocked out what had really happened until…until the man grabbed me the night I left the bar." He looked bitterly at Brent. "Then I forgot that happened too, until tonight."

"You blocked it because your father instigated the beating," Brent pointed out angrily.

"Yeah. I know you're right." Cody stared at him. "How could a man hate his son enough to do that to him?"

"He was sick, Cody," Brent replied, reaching for his hand. He pulled back before he could touch him. "Very sick and very evil, in my opinion."

"He never acted as if he was, except that one time. Yeah, he lectured me. Tried to convince me I wasn't really gay—even after the picnic. But he never hit me. He never even tried to."

"Maybe, since you didn't say anything, he figured the lesson—" Brent spat out the word, "—took. And that you were too terrified to tell people what really happened."

"I guess." Cody looked at Brent's hand, where it lay on the table. Tentatively, he touched it, before saying, "Touch me? Please."

"Are you sure?"

Cody nodded. "I need to know…"

Brent lightly brushed the tips of his fingers over the back of Cody's hand. Cody felt a cold wave of fear, pulling his hand away. "I won't let this rule me anymore," he barely whispered, sliding his hand forward again.

Brent smiled, once again brushing Cody's hand with his fingers. "You can do this," he said confidently.

Don't Touch Me! - 33

 

Cody took a deep breath, drank some coffee then continued.

"He may have hated what I was, but apparently it didn't stop him from telling at least a couple of the guys. There was a company picnic that summer at… You know the preserve outside of town?"

Brent nodded.

"I didn't want to go, but he said it was for all the families and, by God, I wasn't going to embarrass him by not coming with him and Mother. When we got there, before we left the car, he warned me I'd better be a man like all the others there, not some wussy little fag." Cody managed to smile. "Not that I ever came across as gay. I might not have been big, but I was fast and made the track team. He was proud of me when it happened. Bragged a lot to his buddies. Then…" Cody tried to keep his hands from shaking when he picked up the cup to take another drink.

"If you want to stop," Brent said quietly.

"No. I have to get this out, now that I've started." He closed his eyes…remembering.

                                                             * * * *

"I think your father's had a few too many," Cody's mother said, pointing to where his father was standing—well, leaning actually—against a tree by the edge of the picnic area. Three of his buddies—Cody guessed they were his buddies though he'd never seen them before—were with him, and whatever Cody's father was telling them had them laughing up a storm. Cody could hear the words 'fag' and 'queer' being bandied around and figured they were trading demeaning jokes, as often happened when they got wasted. So he turned away, going to join some of the older teens who were setting up a volleyball net. He joined in the game and even scored a couple of times. That should make Dad happy.

The game had just finished when one of the men he'd seen with his father grabbed Cody's arm. "Your dad needs a hand with something," he said.

"Okay. Where is he?" Cody looked around. His father was nowhere in sight.

"Come on. I'll show you." The man kept his hold on Cody's arm, which was a bit weird, but Cody figured maybe he was drunk enough he needed some support. He sure smells like he is.

The man took Cody through the trees, away from the picnic area. They arrived, a few minutes later, in a small, open space. Cody's father and two other men were standing there.

"What do you need?" Cody asked, going over to them.

"He wants us to teach you a lesson," the tallest man said. He seized Cody, pushing him against a tree.

Another man stuffed a rag in Cody's mouth. "We don't want anyone interrupting us."

Cody looked at his father, pleading with his eyes for his father to stop them. Instead, his father backhanded him, almost falling over in the process. He caught himself, saying angrily, "By the time they're done with you, you'll change your evil ways." Then he stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest as he nodded to the others.

Don't Touch Me! - 32

 

Cody slowly opened his eyes, trying to figure out why he was lying on the sofa. Then he saw Brent sitting across from him, a look of worry blended with relief on his face.

"What happened," Cody asked fearfully.

Brent smiled slightly. "You scared the shit out of me. We were in the cut-through. You said something about the man grabbing and threatening you, then you passed out."

Easing up, Cody frowned. "I did?"

"You did."

"I…" Cody began shaking as it all fell into place. "It was… I…"

Brent moved quickly to kneel in front of him. "What, Cody? Tell me."

"When he did that, I remembered…" He pulled back, looking fearfully at Brent. "I know why I'm like this. Why I can't…"

"Because the man attacked you?"

"No. That just brought it all back. Something I tried so hard to forget"—Cody grimaced—"and I did, until the guy grabbed me. I suppose"—he tapped his forehead—"I suppose, once I remembered, my mind said, 'If you don't let anyone touch you, it can't happen again'." He sighed deeply. "So I took it to heart then blocked him out, and my memories, if that makes sense."

"Very much so." Sitting back on his heels, Brent asked, "Do you think you can talk about whatever it was, now that you've remembered it again?"

"I can try. But…" Cody slid to the side to get up, avoiding bumping into Brent. "I need coffee first, I think."

Chuckling, Brent stood as well. "Our elixir of life." When they got to the kitchen, he told Cody to sit—"Since you're none to steady on your feet yet"—and made coffee, washing out their cups from earlier while they waited. When it was ready, Brent set one cup in front of Cody, then sat across from him.

Cody held the cup in both hands, staring into its dark depths. "This isn't—"

"Going to be easy," Brent replied, finishing his sentence. "Probably not, since it was obviously very traumatic. Just start at the beginning. If it gets to be too much, you can stop and we'll finish up later, when you feel up to it again."

Cody nodded. "I was eighteen, just about to go off to college, when I came out to my parents. Mother didn't like it but she accepted the fact. My father was less forgiving. Here's this burly factory worker who, when his buddies came over for a beer or a barbecue, made disparaging remarks about gays. They all did. It was just the way things were. Real men—" Cody made finger quotes, "—don't have gay sons or tolerate gays. Anyway, when I told him, he blew up. Almost kicked me out of the house. Mother told him not to be an ass and since he loved her, he sort of listened. Besides which, I'd be off to school in a few months, so he wouldn't have to deal with me except during the summer."

 

Don't Touch Me! - 31

 

Cody let Brent in when he arrived back at the house, asking, "Anything?"

"Maybe," Brent said. "Is there any coffee?"

Cody lifted an eyebrow, going into the kitchen. "When isn't there? I live on the stuff."

"Me too," Brent said, sitting at the table while Cody poured them each a cup. When Cody joined him, Brent said, "Do you remember seeing a tall, muscular man at the bar the night you were there? He has dirty blond hair, according to a guy I talked to."

Cody frowned thoughtfully. "Maybe. Well, there were a couple of guys who might fit that description, if I remember right. Why?"

"One of the men I talked with said the guy left the same time you did. You took the cut-through, the man says, and the blond stopped at the entrance, watching you."

"He did?"

"That's what I was told."

"I don't remember seeing him. I really must have been drunk."

"You weren't. You had one beer and it took you an hour or so to drink it. After that, you left."

"Then why…?" Cody's voice petered out.

"I think the guy followed you and something happened in the cut-through."

"If he…he attacked me…why don't I remember?"

"That, Cody, is what we need to figure out. Would you be willing to go back there with me to see if it jogs your memory?"

"Now?"

"No better time than the present, to be cliché."

Cody took a big gulp of coffee, put the cup down, and nodded.

They walked in silence until they got to the cut-through. It was fairly narrow, not like the alley it crossed, with brick walls on both sides.

"I don't remember this," Cody said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Let's walk down it."

Cody stepped forward, with Brent close behind him. Suddenly, Cody gasped.

"What?" Brent asked quietly.

"He…he pushed me against the wall, grabbed my arms." Cody wrapped one hand tightly around his bicep to demonstrate. "He…he said, 'We don't like fags like you coming around. Better not happen again. Got it?'" The second the words were out of his mouth, Cody's eyes rolled up and he passed out.

"Shit!" Brent knelt beside him, gently shaking him. When Cody remained unresponsive, Brent lifted him into his arms, muttering, "You don't weigh more than a kid." He was glad it was dark as he carried Cody back to the house, praying the young man wouldn't come to until after they got there.

Cody didn't. Setting him down carefully on the porch, Brent dug through Cody's pockets for the keys, unlocked the door, and took him inside, laying him on the sofa. Then he sat in the armchair to wait for Cody to regain consciousness.