The Artist and the Actor – 36

 

 

"Damn!" Colin spat out when he looked at the clock on the wall above his workbench around noon on Tuesday. He was supposed to be on his way to Shane's hotel to pick him up for lunch. Dashing downstairs, he snagged his phone from the kitchen counter, turned it on, and called Shane.

 

"I'm running late," he said as soon as Shane answered. "I'll be there as soon as possible."

 

"Lost track of time because you were painting, I bet." Shane laughed, but there was an undertone of hurt along with it.

 

"I did. I'm sorry. Don't shoot me."

 

"Maim, maybe." Shane chuckled. "Killing isn't in my game plan."

 

"I promise I'll make it up to you."

 

"I'll hold you to that."

 

Colin had the feeling he would. "I'll be there in fifteen. Twenty if there's bad lunch hour traffic."

 

Hanging up, Colin raced upstairs to change out of his grubbies, checked to be certain he had everything and started down again. Seconds later he was back in his studio because he had to clean his brushes and cover the palette. He made it a point not to look at the work in progress, knowing is he did he'd want to make some minor, or major, alteration.

 

Finally, he was out the front door after setting the security. Luck was with him, the traffic was thin, so he pulled up in front of the hotel only a few minutes later than promised. Shane was pacing outside. He hopped into the car with an "About time, I'm starving." Thankfully, his expression said he didn't mean it the way it sounded.

 

Then they were off for lunch and the movie.

 

* * * *

 

"That was a good as I hoped," Shane said as he and Colin left the movie theater, heading to the escalator that would take them to the lower level of the mall. "My only gripe is, it was too long."

 

"I don't see where they could have cut anything out," Colin responded.

 

"Neither do I."

 

"Then it wasn't too long."

 

"Yes, it was," Shane retorted. Taking a chance, he slung one arm over Colin's shoulders as they stepped off the escalator. "Twenty minutes shorter and we could have stopped for coffee before you have to drop me off at the theater."

 

Colin stiffened momentarily before relaxing, much to Shane's relief. He'd expected him to pull away.

 

"We can grab some at the Starbucks kiosk and drink while we drive," Colin suggested.

 

"Naw, that's okay. We'll get some after the show."

 

Colin stopped stock still, looking at him. "We'll what?"

 

The Artist and the Actor – 35

 

Dinner on Saturday went about as both men expected. Shane told stories about the shows he'd been a part of and his travels around the country. Colin, having a less exciting life, related a few incidents that happened during exhibitions at the Michaelson Galley.

 

"Thomas chooses good artists," he said. "The problem is, some of them think they're better than they are and let everyone know it, including the critics. When that happens, and they get taken down a peg or two, they're not happy."

 

"Of course you never do that," Shane retorted with a wide grin.

 

"Moi? Never. Well, not since I first started exhibiting at smaller galleries. Back then, I had a tendency to think a bit too much of myself, but I told you that, when we were still together."

 

"Yep. More than once. It was cute."

 

"Cute?"

 

"Uh-huh. Hearing you admit you weren't always perfect." Shane bit back a laugh.

 

"I never said I was," Colin protested.

 

"No," Shane admitted. "I'm teasing. You should know when I am by now."

 

"It's been a while since I've had to figure it out. Too long, when it comes down to it."

 

"And at the end…" Shane stopped, shaking his head. "We're not rehashing that. Okay? That's in the past. We're making a fresh start."

 

Colin smiled, lifting his drink. "To new beginnings."

 

They clicked glasses, looking at each other for a long moment before Colin lowered his gaze, glad when Shane changed the subject.

 

Why am I still backing away? Colin wondered. He's not the same man who hurt me. Okay, he's is the same man, but he's changed. He wants us be together. So do I. Can we make it work? It won't be easy if we decide to try again. Not with him gone more than he's here. What if he's tempted to have a fling in Duluth or wherever the troupe goes after that? Damn it, stop thinking that way! If I can't trust him it's over before we give it chance. I believe him when he says it won't happen. That it hasn't happened since soon after we split up. I do. But what if…?

 

"Hey, did I lose you?" Shane asked.

 

"No. Well, for a second. I had an inspiration for a new painting."

 

A frown marred Shane's handsome face momentarily. Then he smiled. "I should have figured that. I promise I'm not going to get my tail in a twist when you're in 'artist' mode, as long as you make some time for me."

 

"Planning on it," Colin replied. "Like… You're free during the days, right?" When Shane nodded, Colin continued. "How about, say on Tuesday, we catch lunch and a movie?"

 

Shane beamed. "You're on. Which one?"

 

They spent a few minutes hovered over Colin's phone, checking out what was playing, choosing one neither of them had seen but wanted to. Then they finished eating so that Shane could get to the theater.

 

As he walked to where he'd parked, Colin was smiling. Step one, I think. I will make time for him. I'll prove to him I'm willing to make the sacrifice. No, not that. That sounds bad, really bad. I'll show him that he's equally as important to me as my painting. Because he was, and Colin knew it. Took me long enough to figure it out, damn it. Maybe I'm growing up? God, one would hope so, at my age.

The Artist and the Actor – 34

 

 

Shane hoped he meant that the way it sounded. Colin had said he wanted him back in his life. Well, maybe he does. He did admit he hasn't quite decided. I hope to hell, when he does, it's going to be yes. He'd have crossed his fingers, but Colin might have asked why and he wasn't willing to tell him how important his decision, one way or the other, was to him. He knows I still love him, but is that enough after all this time?

  

The arrival of the waiter with their dinners put paid to any more talk about the murders or their personal relationship—if there was going to be one, which was still debatable as far as Shane was concerned.

 

As they ate, they discussed general things like the weather, which promised to warm up now that April was around the corner, and books each of them had read and liked, or disliked, since they'd last been together. Once they finished, and had paid, Colin offered to walk back to the hotel with Shane.

 

When they got there, Shane said with a wry grin, "I'd ask you up for the proverbial nightcap, but I don't think we're at that point yet. We may never be."

 

Resting his hands on Shane's shoulders, Colin replied, "Not yet. In truth, I can't say we ever will be because I don't know." Looking directly into Shane's eyes, he said, "I have to learn to trust that we won't repeat the pattern we fell into at the end."

 

"Meaning that I won't go looking for a quickie, or a brief fling, because I'm feeling ignored. I understand. I'm not going to, but you don't know that. Take all the time you need." Shane chuckled. "As long as it's less than four weeks."

 

"It will be, one way or the other, I promise."

 

"That's all I can ask." Shane's gaze lowered to Colin's lips, the temptation to kiss them almost overwhelming. Quickly, he stepped back. "I see you Saturday."

 

Colin nodded. "I'll call if I hear anything more from the detective." Then he turned and walked away.

 

I'm going to prove you can trust me, Colin. I have to. With that thought, Share entered the hotel.

 

The Artist and the Actor – 33

 

 

Shane was glad for the interruption. It gave him a chance to put a rein on his swirling emotions. Things were changing between them—for the better he hoped. He wouldn't know until they spent more time together before he had to leave. For the moment, he needed to change the subject.

 

"Have you heard anything more from Detective Randall?"

 

"Yes. That’s why I wanted us to have dinner, and then I sort of got sidetracked." Colin took a drink. "He called me down to the precinct. It seems he thought I could be the person who killed Gene Logan."

 

"Are you shitting me?"

 

"Nope. Something about my going off the deep end because it was the tenth anniversary of Kenny's murder. Then he backed off, saying he didn't really believe it. Still, he wanted an alibi. Thank God my security system time-stamps when it's turned on and off or I might still be in his sights, at least as a person of interest, if not worse. He did send one of their experts out to check the system. I passed."

 

"Fuck. That's unbelievable. Was that all?"

 

"No. He talked with the man who investigated Kenny's murder." Colin went on to tell Shane what the detective had told him.

 

"So he thinks it could, probably is a copycat murder," Shane said when Colin was finished.

 

"What else could it be? The question is, why, and by who…whom."

 

Shane chuckled. "Either-or. You're right, though. Why copy his murder when there have to be dozens, hundreds of unsolved cases listed on various websites where the method would be easier?"

 

"That's what I said to Randall. About the websites, that is. I met an author once who used them for ideas for the mysteries he wrote. Randall says it's been known to happen with crazies—okay, he didn't use that word but that's what he meant. If I wanted to murder someone and didn't know how to approach it, I suppose checking stories on unsolved murders might inspire me. Sort of 'they got away with it, so I can, too'."

 

"Remind me to check your browser history to see if you've been doing that," Shane teased.

 

Straight-faced, Colin replied, "Not since we broke up. Before then…" he winked.

 

"Given how you felt about me at that point, it wouldn't surprise me if you had."

 

"Shane…" Colin shook his head. "I was pissed as hell, and for a long time I hated you, but never once did I plot your death." He smiled. "Which is just as well. If I had, and succeeded, we wouldn't be here, now. An idea I don't like in the least."

The Artist and the Actor – 32

 

Tenting his fingers, Colin looked hard at Shane. "So when you said you loved me, after I caught you out with those other men, you were concerned about my feelings and doing your best not to hurt me, even though you knew you had—and badly."

 

"No," Shane replied softly. "It was the truth. I loved you then. I still love you, whether you believe it or not. That never changed, Colin. I screwed up and I'll regret it 'til my dying day. My excuses were bullshit and I know it—now. I didn't trust you loved me. Not the way I wanted you to." He sighed. "I'm an egoist at heart. I wouldn't be an actor if I wasn't. I want to be the center of attention and I wasn't, with you. To stick with the theatrical metaphor, I shared the stage with your art when I wanted to be the star."

 

"Why didn't I see that? No, you don't have to answer. I know why. I was totally self-centered. My work came first before we met and that never changed. I wouldn't let it."

 

"Aren't we the pair," Shane said with rueful grin. "Two temperamental artists, because acting is an art, too. So involved with what we wanted that we…that we couldn't see there was another person in our life who should have come first."

 

"Or at least been as important," Colin replied.

 

"If we could go back and change things…"

 

"But we can't. It's too late. And now you're leaving. Not this instant, but soon."

 

"I know." Shane sighed. "I wish I wasn't, but contractually I have to." He took Colin's hand again. "I'll be back, though. I promise. That is if you want me to come back."

 

"I think I do. I have what? Four weeks to decide?"

 

Shane nodded. He laced his fingers with Colin's. "I do everything in my power to make certain you do."

 

Colin looked down at their hands, knowing in that instant what his answer would be. I'm not telling him, though. Not yet. I have to be sure he has changed. Hell, I need to be sure I have. Old habits die hard.

 

"Gentlemen?" Colin looked up to see their waiter, who was waiting to put down their drinks and a bread basket. "Are you ready to order?"

 

Grimacing, Colin quickly scanned the menu while Shane said he wanted the sirloin steak, a baked potato, and the chef's salad.

 

"I'll have the baked chicken with au gratin potatoes and a plain salad with blue cheese dressing," Colin said when it was his turn.