Shadow Men – 73 – Anders and Grant

"Will you quit hovering," Anders growled. "I'm going to be fine. Corrie got it cleaned up and now I'm on antibiotics."

Grant looked at him with a shake of his head. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"And have you worrying more than you were? I'm surprised your neck doesn't have a permanent crick in it from trying to watch in every direction while you were driving."

"Well I had to, just in case."

"I know, I'm teasing." Anders moved carefully to get more comfortable on the bed. "Where's Nicky? I expected him to be hovering too."

"Corrie took him with her to grocery shop. She didn't want him waking you."

"Sooo…" Anders grinned lasciviously.

Grant snorted and said, much to Anders' frustration although he knew he was right, "You're in no condition to do anything yet other than sleep and eat."

"Want to test that theory?" Anders replied anyway.

"Not in the least."

"Ahh, well, there's an idea blown to hell." Angrily Anders turned his face to the wall and closed his eyes.

"Don't," Grant said softly. "You misread what I meant."

"How so?" Anders muttered. "It seemed perfectly clear to me."

Grant pulled up a chair, probably, Anders thought, because that was as close as he was willing to get to him. "Tell me something. How often do you come on to men you have to protect, or even ones you work with?"

Anders turned his head to look at Grant. "Honestly?"

"That would be nice, yes."

"I've been doing this for, hell, eleven years now. I'm no saint and I have needs, especially when things finish up and I have to get rid of all the tension, if you get the picture. But I've never met someone I wanted as more than a passing fuck buddy at best…"

"Guess that answers all my questions."

"May I finish?" Anders asked tartly when Grant interrupted. "There are two more words to that sentence… Until now."

"Why should I believe that?"

"Because…"

"That's not an answer."

Upset that he didn't get it but unwilling to explain, Anders closed his eyes again. "It's all the answer you're going to get. Now if you don't mind I'm unbelievably tired still, so I'm going to go back to sleep."

When he heard Grant get up and leave, Anders wanted to call out to him, to make him come back so he could apologize for the way he had acted. But what would he be apologizing for? For trying in his less than articulate way to tell Grant he'd become important to him? That, in spite of all his teasing, the underlying truth was he'd begun to care for him? He wouldn't believe it, so why try? Better for both of us that he's free to leave now. The problem was, Anders knew it wasn't the truth, at least not for him.