Fear - 57

"You're a flirt, you know," Gene said, as he drove Shawn back to Max's.

"Am not," Shawn protested.

"Are too. The whole time we were watching that TV show you'd touch me then make slightly ribald comments meant to keep my attention on you."

"Ribald?" Shawn said with feigned innocence.

Gene glanced at him. "Ribald, meaning slightly off-color or humorously vulgar with sexual undertones. You flirt a lot actually, though not always quite that way."

"I suppose I do. I used to be good at it too, back before I met Jared. It was just a game but a fun one, when I'd go to a club or something. Everyone knew I didn't mean anything by it."

"Aha. So I should ignore it when you flirt with me?"

"Well…" Shawn chewed the corner of his lip. "If I say yes, then you will, and I'll have to come up with some other way to keep you paying attention to me. If I say no, you shouldn't ignore it, you'll take it seriously."

Gene tilted his head questioningly. "You don't want me to?"

"I do want you to. I mean, I do want you to take me seriously but it's hard because I've never really had any practice. Hell, I don't know how to say this so it makes sense."

"How old were you when you met Jared. You never said."

"Twenty."

Gene nodded as he pulled into Max's driveway. Shutting off the car, he turned his full attention to Shawn. "You were young enough that you really didn't have much experience in how to interact with someone you might have been interested in. Flirting came naturally, so you used it."

"I suppose."

"Did you flirt with Jared when you first met him?"

"A bit, until he made it real clear he didn't like me doing it. He said if I did it with him, I'd do it with anyone." Shawn smiled slightly. "Which was true—until I met him. Anyway, after he said that I stopped, or tried to." He leaned his head back, staring out the car window. "We went to a party. I was with him and I wanted to be. Hell I was in love with him by then. But there was a cute guy there and so, yeah, I started to flirt a bit, just playing. The guy knew it; Jared didn't. That was the first time he hit me. Not there, but when we got home. And not badly. Just a couple of hard slaps while he yelled at me. He apologized right after, held me until I stopped crying, and said he'd never do that again." Shawn snorted softly. "And he didn't, until the next time he got mad at me."

"Been there, know how that goes." Gene slid over, putting his arm around Shawn. "I don't mind that you flirt with me. I think it's kind of cute actually. I just didn't understand why, after all you've been through, you were doing it. It seemed… strange, I suppose." He kissed Shawn's temple. "Now I get it."

"So I can keep on doing it?"

Gene chuckled. "Until you come up with a better way to get my attention."

"I already have, but every time we kiss, you sort of act like that's as far as you want to take it."

"So far, it has been. I'm not about to rush into this until I'm sure it's what we both want and that it's not going to end up with one of us hurting the other one." When Shawn started to protest he would never do that, Gene shook his head. "I'm not talking about the way we've been hurt before by the men we thought loved us. I mean, we're still getting to know each other. We may find out we're not compatible in ways that can make a difference in the long run. There may be small things we do that can irritate each other to the point of distraction."

"Like squeezing the toothpaste in the middle, playing my music too loud when you're trying to do something, or… or leaving dirty dishes in the sink. That really pissed Jared off, so at least I don't do that any more."