Fear - 58

"Dirty dishes I can deal with, the music, not so much so. There are lots of adjustments two people have to make and if we jump in feet first and one or both of us can't deal with adjusting, well…" Gene pulled Shawn tighter to him, saying softly, "We both know how that can turn out."

Shawn nodded. "Still, you're not Jared, as you keep pointing out, and I'm not the guy who hurt you."

"You're definitely not him, but you get the picture. Slow and easy until we're sure we're right for each other and not just looking for someone because we're lonely and want a warm body in bed to keep us company."

Shawn looked up at him and grinned. "Oh I definitely want a warm body in my bed. Your warm body. But I get what you're saying. You told me, once, that you weren't rebound material." He wrinkled his nose. "Weird way of putting it, by the way, but I got what you meant." Tracing a finger over Gene's lips, he said, "I like you because you're you, not because I'm rebounding. Hell, when you think about it, I should be running scared from the idea of getting into another relationship. I probably would be too, if I hadn't met you. So"—his lips quirked up—"put that in your pipe and smoke it, as my dad used to say to make his point."

"Yes, sir." Gene gave him a mock salute before planting a kiss on Shawn's lips.

The kiss turned heated, then exploratory, when they opened to each other. Shawn tugged Gene's shirt loose, running his hands up Gene's back then down to the waistband of his jeans, sliding his fingers under it in a way that made Gene wish they were anywhere but in his car. Not that things couldn't have progressed further even there, and might have if Shawn hadn't suddenly yelped.

"What's wrong?" Gene asked, pulling away quickly.

"You ever have a door handle stab you in the spine? It hurts." Shawn leaned forward enough to rub his back then turned to glare at the offending handle. "You need to get a new car. One without these damned things."

"But a new one would have a console, which could be worse," Gene replied with a grin, relieved in a way at what had happened since it had managed to cool their ardor for the moment.

"True that, but still…" Shawn sighed. "I suppose this ended our make-out session for tonight."

"I'm afraid so, since we both…"

"Have to work tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, heard that one time too often," Shawn said, pouting. "But there will be a time when the stars are in the right conjunction and the moon in the right house, and we will take this to its foreordained conclusion."

Gene snorted in amusement. "Been hanging out at Cheryl's Celestial Shop?"

Shawn nodded, looking a bit embarrassed. "I stopped by one day during lunch and got hooked. She's got some weird, interesting things there."

"That she does. Not my thing but fun to look at. And we're off topic again."

"Meaning I should get out so you can go home." Wrapping his arms around Gene's neck, Shawn kissed him. "I had fun tonight. More fun than I've had in a long time."

"Me too." Gene kissed him back. "Maybe we should do it again sometime."

"No 'maybe' about it. We're going to. So put that in…"

"My pipe and smoke it."

They broke out in laughter, shared a fairly chaste kiss, and Shawn got out of the car, heading to the house. When he got to the porch, he turned and waved. Gene waved back before starting the car. It was a good night. And we will have to do it again.

Fear - 57

"You're a flirt, you know," Gene said, as he drove Shawn back to Max's.

"Am not," Shawn protested.

"Are too. The whole time we were watching that TV show you'd touch me then make slightly ribald comments meant to keep my attention on you."

"Ribald?" Shawn said with feigned innocence.

Gene glanced at him. "Ribald, meaning slightly off-color or humorously vulgar with sexual undertones. You flirt a lot actually, though not always quite that way."

"I suppose I do. I used to be good at it too, back before I met Jared. It was just a game but a fun one, when I'd go to a club or something. Everyone knew I didn't mean anything by it."

"Aha. So I should ignore it when you flirt with me?"

"Well…" Shawn chewed the corner of his lip. "If I say yes, then you will, and I'll have to come up with some other way to keep you paying attention to me. If I say no, you shouldn't ignore it, you'll take it seriously."

Gene tilted his head questioningly. "You don't want me to?"

"I do want you to. I mean, I do want you to take me seriously but it's hard because I've never really had any practice. Hell, I don't know how to say this so it makes sense."

"How old were you when you met Jared. You never said."

"Twenty."

Gene nodded as he pulled into Max's driveway. Shutting off the car, he turned his full attention to Shawn. "You were young enough that you really didn't have much experience in how to interact with someone you might have been interested in. Flirting came naturally, so you used it."

"I suppose."

"Did you flirt with Jared when you first met him?"

"A bit, until he made it real clear he didn't like me doing it. He said if I did it with him, I'd do it with anyone." Shawn smiled slightly. "Which was true—until I met him. Anyway, after he said that I stopped, or tried to." He leaned his head back, staring out the car window. "We went to a party. I was with him and I wanted to be. Hell I was in love with him by then. But there was a cute guy there and so, yeah, I started to flirt a bit, just playing. The guy knew it; Jared didn't. That was the first time he hit me. Not there, but when we got home. And not badly. Just a couple of hard slaps while he yelled at me. He apologized right after, held me until I stopped crying, and said he'd never do that again." Shawn snorted softly. "And he didn't, until the next time he got mad at me."

"Been there, know how that goes." Gene slid over, putting his arm around Shawn. "I don't mind that you flirt with me. I think it's kind of cute actually. I just didn't understand why, after all you've been through, you were doing it. It seemed… strange, I suppose." He kissed Shawn's temple. "Now I get it."

"So I can keep on doing it?"

Gene chuckled. "Until you come up with a better way to get my attention."

"I already have, but every time we kiss, you sort of act like that's as far as you want to take it."

"So far, it has been. I'm not about to rush into this until I'm sure it's what we both want and that it's not going to end up with one of us hurting the other one." When Shawn started to protest he would never do that, Gene shook his head. "I'm not talking about the way we've been hurt before by the men we thought loved us. I mean, we're still getting to know each other. We may find out we're not compatible in ways that can make a difference in the long run. There may be small things we do that can irritate each other to the point of distraction."

"Like squeezing the toothpaste in the middle, playing my music too loud when you're trying to do something, or… or leaving dirty dishes in the sink. That really pissed Jared off, so at least I don't do that any more."

Fear - 56

"It's easier to eat if you use a fork," Shawn said. "The food's not going to jump into your mouth."

Gene looked up and smiled, cutting off a bit of the roast. "True."

"Okay, next step, insert fork with meat into your mouth, chew, and swallow."

With a small laugh, Gene did. "Next you'll be telling me how to drink my coffee."

Shawn grinned. "See that thing on the side of the cup? It's called a handle. You grab hold of it…"

"Will you quit?"

"Yeah, sorry." Shawn immediately focused his attention on his meal.

"Hey, I meant quit teasing. It's hard to eat and laugh at the same time."

"Oh. I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

"We both are, I think." Gene sighed. "We're both super sensitive to the nuances of each other's words because, well, because we've had to be in the past. I should be over that by now. Apparently I'm not."

Shawn nodded. "You're better than I am, though. You don't see everything that even sounds like it could be an order as a threat to your physical safety."

"I've learned to control my reaction is all, to anything which sounds like a command and to harsh words. I've figured out I have to step back, mentally, and tell myself the person talking isn't him—that they're not angry at me or if they are, they're not going to hurt me because of it. Make sense?"

"Umm hmm. But you still hide out here."

"I suppose I do. Mostly habit at this point, I guess. Funny, I was thinking just a few minutes ago about it. You said this was my sanctuary, which it is, then questioned my never having visitors, which I don't. I realized, not for the first time, that it's my way of keeping control over the part of my life that I can control."

"And yet you invited me to dinner."

"You caught me in a weak moment."

"No," Shawn said thoughtfully. "I caught you at a moment when you'd begun to realize it's time to start living again. What's past is past."

Gene reached across to take his hand. "Something you're going to have to remember, too. And before you get pissed, I know things are too fresh still. It's not going to happen overnight."

"I know." Shawn sighed. "I just wish I'd stop being afraid. I shouldn't be, at least not of you, but I still react the same way I did with Jared. Back away and pray you're not mad."

"I'll make you a deal. If I get upset, I'll tell you straight out, and I'll tell you why. But in return you have to let me know when I do something that makes you think I'm pissed at you because to be honest, I might not see it that way."

Shawn nodded. "Deal."

Gene smiled, leaned over to kiss him and said, "Okay, I'm not upset, but you had better finish your dinner because I slaved over a hot stove to prepare it." He waggled a finger in reprimand.

Shawn grabbed it, laughing. "Okay, I'm eating. I'm eating." He took Gene's finger between his lips and nibbled the end of it.

"That is not what I meant," Gene growled in amusement, breaking into laughter seconds later. And damn, that was too sensual. He pulled his finger back quickly.

"I know." Shawn grinned. "But it made you laugh."

It made me a lot of things which I'm not going to mention. Gene tamped down on his suddenly enflamed libido. "Just eat your dinner. Okay?"

"Eating, eating." And this time he did.

Fear - 55

Laughing softly, Gene replied, "I'm sure you can."

It puzzled him, as it had from the beginning, that after all he'd been through Shawn could still be so flirtatious. He remembered back when he'd finally broken away from his abusive lover. The last thing he'd wanted was to get into another relationship.

And that's been the case ever since, until now

"Let's go eat before the pot roast turns into a chunk of dried up meat and shrunken vegetables."

"Sounds good to me." Shawn walked past Gene into the hallway, turned and waited. "You coming?"

Gene nodded as he looked around the bedroom, trying to see it through Shawn's eyes. It belongs to a confirmed bachelor, books and all. He smiled ruefully as he closed the door and joined Shawn.

A few minutes later, they were sitting at the island in the kitchen, full plates of food in front of them.

Shawn had insisted they eat there, not in the dining room. "I don't understand why you even have it," he'd said, "since you never have company. You could turn it into one hell of a media room or something."

Gene winced inwardly at the 'never have company' statement, turning his reaction to it into a joke. "With my eighteen inch TV as the only media? It would be real lonely all by itself."

"So you buy a computer and stuff to keep it company."

"I have a computer, at my office. It's the only one I need."

Shawn chuckled softly. "Gene, you're a stodgy old loner."

Gene smiled. "You've just discovered the secret I've been trying to hide all these years. I am."

"But you're not," Shawn disagreed. "Not really." He rested his elbows on the island top, staring at Gene. "You have tons of friends."

"I have a lot of people I know well, mostly patients and their families. I'm not certain I'd call many of them friends the way you mean. Max and Linda, yes, and a couple of others and that's about it."

Picking up his fork again, Shawn took a bite of the roast, asking casually after swallowing, "Have any of them been here?"

"Max, once."

Shawn arched his eyebrows. "Just once? Did you give him the grand tour?"

"Nope, coffee in the living room while we talked… business."

"Damn." Shawn took another bite, shaking his head

Yes, damn. But it's how I am. It's easier to keep control over my life that way. I fought hard to get it back. I'm not willing to give it up Gene stared down at his plate, wondering if it had been such a good idea to let Shawn in. Into the house, into my life…

'The Beast Within' has arrived. (A re-release)

The Beast Within

https://www.jms-books.com/erotic-romance-c-29_94/the-beast-within-p-2871.html

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07W8BHL8D

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-beast-within-edward-kendrick/1107084138?ean=9781634867627

GENRE: Gay Mystery Erotic Romance
LENGTH: 42,863 words
RATING:

A cannibalistic serial killer targeting gay men is on the loose.

Devin, who has become increasingly erratic in the last two months, just split up with Gary, his lover of three years. Vanni, a habitué of the gay clubs, makes extra spending money on his knees in the club johns. Is one of these men the killer? Or will one of them instead become the killer’s next target?

Detective Hollis Robbins is in charge of the case. He intends to stop the killer, if he can.

When the killer strikes again the four men’s lives intertwine as the search for the murderer intensifies. Will the attraction that two of them begin to feel for each other survive the hunt? Do they have the strength to continue on after tragedy strikes and teaches them that love can be bittersweet?

EXCERPT:
Note: may contain sexually explicit scenes of a homoerotic nature.

"Didn't know you hung out here."

Gary turned slowly to look at Vanni. "Why shouldn't I? Is this your private stomping ground? No one allowed unless they pay your 'cover charge'?" Gary's lip curled up in a sneer.

"Look, bitch, you might be able to get away with talking to Devin like that but I'm not him."

"Bitch?" Gary growled.

"If the shoe fits," Vanni told him with a smirk of amused condescension.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are but…"

"I'm the one who's watched you push Devin to the brink then walk away. He was a good man 'til you got your hands on him."

"He still is a good man when he's not ... when he gets control of his anger. If he gets control of it."

Vanni rested one foot on the rung of the barstool as he rolled a bottle of beer between his hands. "So what are you doing that makes him angry? Not putting out? Putting out to other men too?"

"It always comes down to sex with you, doesn't it, Giovanni?" Gary used his full name when he replied because he knew Vanni hated it.

"It's what makes the world go 'round they say." Vanni's brown eyes flashed dark with ire as he took a deep drink and set the bottle down on the bar. "No wait, it's love that does that but you wouldn't know since you don't love him, at least not the way you should."

"What the hell do you know about my feelings?"

"Like I said, I've watched you with him."

Gary shook his head. "No, you've watched him with me and there's a difference. We come to the clubs because they're the only thing that seems to relieve his stress. We come, we dance, and if I'm lucky we go home together and maybe fu ... make love."

"You're first choice was probably the more accurate one. You fuck him then you go home and leave him wanting more."

"When the hell did you become an expert in love?" Gary glared daggers at Vanni. "You wouldn't know it if it came up and introduced itself to you, Mr. Fucking Sex Machine, down on your knees half your life in some filthy john." The next thing Gary knew he was on his ass on the floor. He looked up at Vanni in shock while he rubbed his jaw. "Hit to close to home there ...H Giovanni?"

Vanni fisted his hands again then shook his head. "You aren't worth a trip to jail," he snarled. He turned quickly, strode to the door of the club, and vanished through it onto the sidewalk.

Fear - 54

Shawn paused, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. As if he'd been waiting right there, Gene opened the door then stepped aside to let him in.

"Nice," Shawn said once the welcoming kiss from Gene was finished.

Gene chuckled. "The kiss or the room?"

"Both?" Shawn grinned, finally looking around.

The living room was larger than he'd expected from looking at the house from the outside. It had a hardwood floor, extending into the dining room which Shawn could see through a large, oak-framed arch. There was a fireplace on one wall and, just as Gene had promised, Shawn's drawing of him hung on the wall above it. Facing the fireplace was a dark blue, upholstered, semi-circular sofa with a beige-toned Native American designed rug between them. The painted walls matched the color of the rug, with oak baseboards and cornices. At least I think that's what the trim at the top of the walls is called.

The dining room was a smaller version of the living room, but with a circular, glass-topped table and four antique-looking chairs set in front of another fireplace.

"At least you won't get cold in the winter," Shawn commented before Gene led him into the kitchen. "Whoa, now this I didn't expect, as much as you eat out."

Gene laughed. "It came this way, but I do use it."

Oak cabinets and counters, a large stainless steel refrigerator, and matching oven took up three of the walls, with a long bank of windows on the fourth. In the center of the room was an oak island with a marble countertop which Shawn figured served as the kitchen table since there were two tall stools on one side.

"A roast?" Shawn asked, sniffing the air.

"Yep. Pot roast, which should be ready in about twenty minutes."

Shawn grinned. "I'm not sure I can wait that long." Then he sighed dramatically when Gene told him he didn't have a choice. "In that case, show me the rest of the house."

Gene did, taking him up a narrow flight of stairs at one side of the front door to the second floor. There were two bedrooms, one small one, which Gene said was the guest room, "Although I never have guests," he told Shawn with a slight, tense smile.

"Why not?" Shawn blurted out without thinking.

"I like my privacy," was Gene's taut reply. He obviously regretted his tone of voice because seconds later he quickly apologized. "I'm just not big on entertaining unless it's someone I feel very comfortable with, like you."

Shawn hesitated, remembered Max's advice about being open and honest with Gene, and replied, "Because this is your sanctuary, the place where you feel safe." He tensed when Gene frowned, instinctively taking a step backwards.

"Hey, none of that," Gene said, reaching out to take Shawn's hand as his frown faded away. "I wasn't angry. I was just surprised you…you understood." He smiled, putting his arm around Shawn's waist. "Though I guess I shouldn't have been. You're one smart young man."

"Who's been there too, so why shouldn't I get it? And before this turns into 'poor us', show me your bedroom so we can go back downstairs and eat."

Gene shook his head, his gaze as he looked at Shawn full of amusement. "I have the feeling you're going to be good for me. Not that I didn't know that already. You have a way of…"

"Making you see what's important, like dinner." Shawn grinned as he moved away to open the door next to the guestroom. "Okay, I found the bathroom," he muttered, "which isn't too shabby. So this door"—he opened the one across the hallway—"better be your bedroom."

It was. The room was light and airy, thanks to the west-facing windows. Hardwood flooring and beige walls matched the downstairs rooms. There was a large bed, covered with a deep brown comforter, a dresser, and a tall bookcase filled almost to overflowing. Beside it hung three crossed swords, which Gene said had been part of a collection for sale at the Farmer's Market the previous summer.

Shawn saw a pile of books on the nightstand and jumped to the logical conclusion. "You read in bed."

Gene nodded. "Always."

"I can think of better things to do." Shawn grinned wickedly.

Fear - 53

"You've never been inside his house?" Max didn't seem too surprised when Shawn told him that.

"No. I think…" Shawn shrugged. "I think maybe it's his private place if that makes sense—where he can go to be alone and feel safe."

"That's very observant of you."

"Well, in a way, I know why." Shawn frowned, unsure if Max knew Gene's history well enough to get what he was saying—or not saying.

"He's afraid," Max replied. "Having been through the same things you have, he's got the same fears you have. The problem is he's been carrying them for so long, they're deeply ingrained into his psyche, even though he might not realize it. I'm fairly certain he didn't have someone to help him get past them the way you do."

"The way he's helping me." Shawn nodded. "But he can't be afraid of me. I mean damn, look at me. I couldn't knock out a fly, to say the least of a larger man, even if I wanted to which I don't and I never would."

"Of course you wouldn't, but you know there's more to being abused than just the physical part."

"Yeah, I do. From what happened to me—and to him. He told me about it—how he stayed with the dude even after he quit beating on him. About the mental and emotional stuff the guy put him through. But damn it, Max, I'm not going to pull something like that." Shawn smiled wryly. "I'm not a control freak. If I was, I wouldn't have stayed with Jared for more than a day or three."

"You know that; I know that, and so does Gene. But there's knowing and there's believing. I'd be willing to bet even though you're sure Gene would never hurt you, you still react sometimes as if you thought he might. It's instinctive right now. Duck or cower when you say something that would have had Jared coming after you verbally or physically. Right?"

"Right." Shawn nodded slowly. "I try not to but sometimes I can't help it."

"Exactly. Gene's well past that at this point, but like you said, his house is his safe haven. He's built walls, physically with the house, as well as emotionally. You're breaking through the emotional ones from what I've seen, and now he's giving you permission to get inside the physical ones."

"If I screw up…"

"That will only happen if you're not honest with him. If he does something that upsets you, tell him. The same goes when he does something you like."

"Oh, I do that all the time, the liking part."

"And if he upsets you?"

Shawn chewed his lip. "Not so much so. Maybe never?"

"Understandable, but you can't build any kind of relationship without honesty." Max chuckled. "Maybe I should get him in here and have this same talk with him."

"Oh boy. Still, you do a good job of it so—"

"I had two very good teachers, my father and Linda. But that's neither here nor there. Just remember what we've been talking about, if and when he tries to put the walls up again. He's in the same boat you are, so trust comes hard. You're learning to trust him, with good reason. Just don't give him any reason not to trust you."

"I won't, I promise."

Fear - 52

Gene wrapped Shawn in a tight embrace, wiping away the tears. "You don't have to tell me. I understand," he said softly. "But never again. No one is ever going to do that to you again."

"You don't know that."

"I do, because I'll never do that, and I'll be here to protect you from anyone else who tries. Well"—he pressed a kiss to his forehead—"at least for as long as you want me to be."

"Forever?" Shawn's voice was both wistful and hopeful as he gazed up at Gene.

"Until I'm in a walker. Then you're on your own in the protection department, I'm afraid."

Shawn's laugh was watery, but it was a laugh. "I can deal with that."

"I know you can. Now, do you feel well enough to go back inside? I don't think it's a good idea for the guest of honor, meaning me, to just vanish without saying goodbye to everyone."

Shawn nodded, wiping away the last of his tears. "But first…" Putting his arms around Gene's neck, he kissed him, whispering 'thank you' against his lips.

* * * *

"Wait a minute, please," Shawn said, in what Gene thought of as his 'cautious' mode. The one he still manifested too frequently, as if afraid he might upset him.

Gene had brought him back to Max's after the party and walked him to the door where they'd shared a few kisses. Shawn seemed up and excited, not only from kissing but for some other reason as well. Gene had the idea he was about to find out what.

"I'll be right back. Honest." With that said Shawn vanished inside.

Gene leaned against the porch railing, staring up at the starlit sky. The moon was just peeking over the mountains on the east side of town. It's going to be too cold to do this soon. Fireplace weather in a month. He smiled to himself, envisioning sitting with Shawn in front of a blazing fire, the snow coming down outside. And I'm getting ahead of myself here.

He turned around when he heard the door open and saw Shawn standing there, one hand behind his back. Shyly, Shawn brought it forward, giving Gene a thin, brightly wrapped package.

"It's nothing special. Just, well… I wanted to give it to you in private."

Intrigued, Gene carefully unwrapped it. "Okay," he said softly, "this is very special."

"You like it? I…it took time to get it so it really looked like you. I think I filled the wastebasket twice over with ones that didn't work."

"I couldn't have asked for a better gift." Gene looked again at the drawing Shawn had done of him, smiling with pleasure. "Thank you." Holding it carefully, he used his free hand to cup the back of Shawn's head and kissed him deeply. When they broke apart finally, he said, "This is going to hang in my living room. Maybe, yes definitely, over the fireplace."

Shawn turned pick with pleasure even as he protested, "It's not that good."

"Actually, it is, so that's where it's going."

Shawn grinned. "You're going to have to prove it."

"Oh?"

"Uh-huh. And that means I'll finally get to see the inside of your place."

Gene chuckled. He could almost hear the unspoken 'So there'. "It's a deal. As a matter of fact, maybe next Sunday. I'll even cook supper."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. But for now, you'd better get to bed. We'd both better. As it is, we're only going to get a few hours of sleep before we have to be at work."

"All right." Shawn stepped closer, close enough to kiss Gene again. "I'm glad you like it," he whispered a moment later.

"The picture or the kiss?"

"Both?" Shawn ginned, spun around and headed inside.

Definitely both, but more than anything I like the artist who gave them to me.

Fear - 51

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Max said much later, as he stood, putting his hand on Gene's shoulders, "shall we sing 'Happy Birthday' and then let him open his presents?"

"What presents?" Gene whispered to Shawn as everyone else stood and began to sing.

"No clue," Shawn replied with a sly grin before he joined in on the song.

When they had finished, Gene thanked them profusely, still wondering what Max had been talking about. He found out moments later when two busboys wheeled out a dessert cart. In the center was a large birthday cake. If it hadn't been on a stand, it would have been hidden by all the gift-wrapped packages surrounding it.

"I don't believer this," Gene said, looking at all his friends.

"Believe," Max told him, handing him a knife. "Blow out the candles, make a wish, then make the first cut. The waitresses will take care of the rest."

Gene did, turning to look at Shawn as he blew the candles out. I wish, I hope, that we're still together as friends and more when I'm twice this old. He smiled at Shawn then cut the cake to the cheers of everyone there.

* * * *

The party lasted into the wee small hours of the morning. At first Shawn hung back, watching Gene having a great time with everyone as people danced and talked after the tables had been moved to the sides of the room. Then one of the women came over to stand beside him.

"You're too shy," she said with a smile. "Come dance with me."

Shawn instantly flashed back to the last time a woman had asked him to do that. He froze before scooting away from her, much to her obvious surprise. Gene was beside him seconds later.

"What's wrong," he asked in concern.

"It's…it's…" Shawn took a deep breath, looking down at the floor.

Gene put an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, let's go outside and you can tell me, because it's very apparent something's upset you badly."

It took a bit of prodding on Gene's part once they were out in front of the restaurant but finally the words came tumbling out.

"There was a party, a birthday party actually for some guy Jared worked with and we went and I didn't know anyone, so I stayed at the bar and a lady asked me to dance and her boyfriend made a scene and when we got back to the trailer, Jared was drunk and angry and…" He felt the tears start. "And he… he…"

Fear - 50

Gene's birthday arrived and with it Shawn's nervousness—which was beyond his control at the moment as they parked along the main street and walked to the restaurant.

"You look just fine," Gene said, amusement lighting his face when Shawn took a glance in yet another darkened shop window along the way.

"I want to be more than fine," Shawn muttered, brushing a stand of hair back off his face. "I want to be perfect so you'll be proud of me."

"You could be wearing your greasy coveralls from work, with a smudge of oil on your cheek, and your hair tied back with a bandana and I'd still be proud of you." When Shawn looked at him skeptically, Gene hugged him, thereby unintentionally messing up his hair again.

"Damn it," Shawn grumbled.

"Hold still." Gene took out his comb, ran it through Shawn's hair and proclaimed things were perfect now. "And no looking to check, Narcissus," he said with a grin. Putting one hand at the small of Shawn's back he steered him to the restaurant entrance. "Deep breath and smile," he whispered as he opened the door.

Smile? Yeah right. Shawn surveyed all the people there and the decorations Linda had asked to be put up to celebrate Gene's birthday, and—all the people—and almost turned tail and ran. Only Gene's firm grip on his shoulder kept him where he was.

"Happy birthday," several people shouted when they saw Gene. They immediately mobbed him, followed moments later by a second wave of his friends and acquaintances.

Much to Shawn's surprise, Gene slid an arm around his waist, introducing him to those people closest to them. Even more to his surprise, they all seemed to accept him as if he belonged there.

"See, Shawn. I told you it would be all right," Linda said from behind him, giving him as much of a hug as possible considering he was tucked close to Gene's side. Then she turned to Gene and with a grin, curtsied. "If you two gentlemen will follow me, I'll take you to your table."

Gene rolled his eyes, muttering to Shawn, "This is why I hate birthday parties. Well, for me anyway. People insist on treating me like I'm special just because I'm a year older."

"Positively ancient," Max said, coming up to greet them now that people had started to return to their tables. "You're what, now? Thirty-one?"

"And counting." By now they were at the rectangular table at the end of the room. After Gene sat, with Shawn beside him, Gene apparently realized they were facing everyone else. "This is beginning to feel like a roast," he said when Linda took the seat on his other side.

"Well now that you mention it…" She smiled broadly.

Gene looked at her in horror. "You'd better be kidding."

"I am. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the good food and the fact that so many people care about you."

(FYI - I'll be visiting family over the weekend so the next post may not go up until late Monday, or Tuesday morning.)

Fear - 49

Shawn shuddered, sinking into Gene's embrace when he wrapped his arms around him. "So yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of parties because of that." He looked up at Gene. "But this would be different," he whispered, "because you're not Jared."

"No, I'm not," Gene agreed firmly, lightly kissing Shawn's temple before turning back to Linda and Max. "I guess it's three to one, so if you insist, I promise not to pout too much."

"We do," Max replied with a grin. "Let's see, we can rent the meeting room in the town hall. That should just about hold everyone."

"No way in hell!"

"Tony's Steakhouse then?" Linda suggested. "We'll keep it intimate, just hmm… a hundred of your closest friends."

Gene snorted. "My closest friends I can count on one hand."

"I don't believe that," Shawn said. "I've already met three of them when we've been out to eat, and there's Linda and Max and…"

"Like I said, five," Gene countered. "Six, if I count you, but I think we're more than friends now."

Max cocked an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Not that way," Gene told him.

"Yet," Shawn added with a grin.

Linda glanced at her husband. "Told you."

Max hugged her. "And you're always right."

"I am. And on that note, I think it's time called it a night. It's getting late and I have a party to plan come morning, so I'll need all my wits about me."

After Max and Linda went inside, Gene stood, pulling Shawn up and into his arms again. "You know they're going to be insufferable now that they know."

"Know what?" Shawn asked innocently.

"That we might be, slowly but I think surely, inching beyond just friendship."

"And there's nothing wrong with that, I don't think."

"Not in the least." Gene cupped Shawn's jaw in his hands and kissed him, receiving one in return that might have progressed beyond just an exploration of each others lips if he'd allowed it to. Instead he pulled away, patting Shawn's ass. "Linda was right; it's getting late."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Shawn planted another quick kiss on Gene's lips and smiled. "I'll go to bed like a good boy. And before you say it, I'm doing it because I'm tired, not because I think that's what you want."

Ruffling Shawn's hair, Gene replied, "I know. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"For sure. We may be taking things slowly, but we are taking them to where we both want them to end." With that said, he headed into the house, smiling to himself when he heard Gene murmur, "That we are, and I'm not complaining" as he walked down the steps.

Fear - 48

Later that night, after a good meal and slow walk back to Max's place, Shawn, Gene, Max, and Linda sat on the front porch enjoying the cool, starry evening.

They chatted about the weather, which would soon turn much colder with winter approaching, and about which neighbors would take off for warmer climes as a result, or spend most of their free time going over the Divide to the ski resorts.

Shawn listened raptly, though he barely knew most of the people they were talking about unless they were customers at the garage.

Linda apparently caught his puzzled expressions and told him, "Give it time and you'll know everyone in town. In fact"—she tapped her lip—"I just had a thought." She grinned almost evilly at Gene. "Someone has a birthday coming up. I think we're going to throw a big party to celebrate. That way Shawn can meet everyone all at once."

Gene visibly gulped. "Come on, Linda. You know I hate things like that."

"But you'll let us do it anyway, for Shawn's sake."

"I'm not big on parties either," Shawn protested, wanting to back Gene up, even though he really liked the idea.

Gene sighed in relief. "See, two against one."

"Nope, two against two," Max said with a grin. "And somehow I think Shawn just said that because he thought he should for your sake."

Gene frowned as he turned to look at Shawn. "If that's true, don't," he said softly. "And you know why."

"I really don't like parties, or, well… oh hell." He looked away, out across the yard, rather than face Gene's look of disappointment.

"What?"

"I've only been to two of them. One when I was seven and a kid in my class invited me to his birthday party. That one was fun." He paused, realizing he was opening up to all three of them, not just Gene.

"And the other one?" Linda asked, reaching over to pat his arm. "You can tell us, even if it isn't a good memory. You should know that by now."

"It was for Jared. For his birthday. Things seemed to be going good between us, for once, and I thought I'd surprise him and throw one and invited the guys he worked with and some other people we knew. That was when he was still working in the city." Shawn's expression turned dour. "Like I said, it was a surprise party so he couldn't do anything about it except behave and pretend he was having a good time. And drink. But after everyone left…"

It's release day for 'Murder in the Condo Next Door'!

Murder in the Condo Next Door

https://www.jms-books.com/erotic-romance-c-29_94/murder-in-the-condo-next-door-p-2848.html

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07W1B5VTG

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/murder-in-the-condo-next-door-edward-kendrick/1132617699?ean=9781646560240


GENRE: Gay Mystery Erotic Romance
LENGTH: 28,671 words
RATING:

When the crazy woman from hell, as he thinks of her, moves in next door to Michael, he isn't happy about it. When she's murdered, he's even less ecstatic, especially when he has to deal with a detective's suspicions and a nosy reporter.

Reid Hanson is a good reporter with a nose for a story. When he tries, and fails, to interview Michael, he's intrigued by the man's resistance. It takes all his persuasive powers to get Michael to open up to him about the murder ... and his past.

When Michael does, the two men set out to try and learn more about the woman's murder ... and a related one a week later. In the process they begin to fall for each other. Will their attraction come to fruition or will the killer manage to eliminate Michael, the only witness to his existence, before that happens?

EXCERPT:

Michael didn't have to call the detective. At eight Sunday morning his cell phone rang.

Blearily he took it off the charger, checked the caller ID, a sighed. "Good morning, Detective."

"Good morning, Mr. Wright. I hope I didn't wake you."

"You did, but that's all right. How can I help you?"

"I'd appreciated it you'd come down to the precinct."

Michael knew 'appreciate' meant 'you'd better'. His gut clenched as he asked, "When?"

"This morning. Say at nine-thirty. That should give you time to dress and grab something to eat."

"I'll be there," Michael replied before hanging up. He had the feeling if he'd asked why the detective would just have said he'd tell him when he got there.

Deciding to put up a good front, he dressed in slacks and one of his better shirts, rather than his usual day-off clothes -- jeans and T-shirt. He managed to get down some toast and coffee, too worried to eat more. Then he took off to face whatever Daniels wanted him for.

At the precinct, Michael told the man at the front desk why he was there. A few minutes later, Detective Daniels appeared, taking Michael up to the squad room.

When they were seated at Daniels' desk, the detective said, "I've done some checking on you, Mr. Wright, since you're the only person in the building who seems to have had any contact with Ms. Lee, other than the manager and the man who owns the condo she was renting."

Michael looked straight at him as he replied, "And?"

"You spent four years in prison for assaulting a man in a bar."

"I did. That was six year ago. Since then, I've stayed out of trouble."

The detective ignored his reply. "You have a bad temper, according to the file on your case."

"Yes. When I drink. I haven't had a drink since I left prison."

"You were angry at Ms. Lee's actions."

"I'll admit I wasn't happy at having my peace and quiet interrupted by her yelling that she couldn't get into her place -- three Saturday nights in a row. I told you I tried to help her the first time. The second time I could hear a man with her, so I didn't bother."

"And the night before her murder, you said you were going to confront her about that again."

Michael gave a sharp nod. "But that was a moot point. The man she was with that time must have gotten the door open because they were going inside when I looked into the hallway. I've already told you that."

"Tell me about this man."

"As I said, I barely saw him. He had dark hair and heavy eyebrows." Michael closed his eyes, trying to picture the man. "Maybe my height, which is five-eleven, or a bit taller. Wearing jeans and a shirt. Blue, if I remember correctly. I only saw him for a few seconds."

The detective wrote that down, but the expression on his face told Michael he wasn't certain he believed him.

"What would you have done if she hadn't been with this man you say you saw?"

"Probably reamed her a new one and told her to get help with her problem," Michael replied honestly. "But I wouldn't have done more than that. If you're trying to imply I made the whole thing up because I let my temper get the best of me and killed her -- forget it. The assault I did time for stemmed from alcohol induced rage. Normally, I'm a fairly calm person."

Detective Daniels leaned back, looking at him. "I know the man was with her because they were seen entering the building together, by a householder who lives across the street, although the witness didn't see what the man looked like."

"Then why are you trying to push my buttons about it?"

"To see how you'd react under pressure. I don't think you killed her. I do think you might have seen more than you remember when it comes to her. Seen, or heard."

Michael took a deep breath. "I take it I passed your test. I suppose I understand why you did it, but I still resent it."

"Understood. Do you remember anything else about her? You were her nearest neighbor."

"There was one thing, or two I guess," Michael replied. "Twice, I saw her out on her balcony. Both times there were men with her." He smiled slightly. "I wasn't spying on her, but when you hear voices you tend to look to see who is talking. I didn't get a good look at them, but my feeling is it was a different one each time. Different body shapes."

"Meaning height, weight?"

"Both, I guess."

"Could either of them been the man you saw with her, her last night?"

"I don't know," Michael replied in exasperation. "Three very brief views ..." He shrugged.