Fear - 47

Shawn looked up when he heard footsteps, turning quickly to see Gene coming toward the battered picnic table on the narrow slice of grass behind the garage.

"So Max told you?"

Gene nodded, settling down beside him. "How do you feel about it?"

"I wish I knew. It means there's no trial, so I won't have to sit through that. Still… five years, Gene. That's all he'll get. What happens when he gets out?" Shawn shivered at the thought.

"There's a good chance nothing will happen. He'd be a fool to try something. However, just to be on the safe side, you could get a restraining order, I think."

Shawn snorted derisively. "Like that would do any good. I could have had one in place right after I ended up in the hospital and he'd still have shown up here and grabbed me."

Gene nodded. "True, but it might have made him think twice before he did it."

"And be twice as angry at me for getting one." Shawn stared down at the ground. "I suppose," he said quietly, "a guaranteed five years is better than his standing trial and getting off because he's got a good lawyer or something gets screwed up."

"It is to my way of thinking." Gene rubbed Shawn's shoulders in an attempt to get him to relax. "And another thing, you won't have to see him, which you would if there was a trial, because you'd be the DA's number one witness. You also won't have to deal with Jared's lawyer trying to make the assault seem like it was your fault somehow."

Shawn looked at him in disbelief. "How the hell could he do that?"

"By trying to prove that you instigated it by some action, such as hitting him first or carrying on in such a way that he felt that either he, or your relationship, was in danger. The lawyer could say Jared was so angry that once he started hitting you, he just lost control and your fighting back pushed him into a deeper rage."

"I didn't hit him," Shawn protested.

"You know that, and I know that, but Jared disappeared after the assault. He could claim any damage you did to him had healed while he was gone. If he's got a smart lawyer that might be just the way they play it."

"It never stops, does it?" Shawn said sadly. "I'll always be the one at fault."

"Hey now, that's not true," Gene said emphatically, pulling Shawn into a loose embrace. "Yes, in Jared's eyes things were your fault. It's how he sees the world. But anyone else would only have to look at the two of you to know that wasn't the truth. However, it wouldn't stop his lawyer from putting you through an emotional wringer to try to get him off." Gene paused thoughtfully. "On the other hand, his lawyer must have his doubts that he can or he wouldn't be willing to plea bargain"

"So I should tell the DA it's okay with me that he accepts it?"

"Um-hmm. I would, if it was me." Gene ruffled Shawn's hair. "Of course, I'm not you and you have to make up your own mind."

Shawn turned to look at him. "And you're not Jared. He'd have ordered me to, just like he ordered me to do everything he wanted."

"Something I will never do," Gene promised, lightly kissing his temple.

"I'll believe you, if you kiss me here." Shawn tapped his lips.

Gene rolled his eyes. "You're asking for it, kid."

"But will I get it?" Shawn replied playfully. Do I dare make the first move? Shawn considered it for as long as it took for him to dart in and kiss Gene. He backed away quickly, unsure what Gene's reaction might be. If he didn't like it… Panic had him moving even farther away.

Without saying a word, Gene rested his hands on Shawn's shoulders to still him, leaned in, and returned the kiss with a gentle one of his own. Then he smiled. "Not bad, for first kisses. But I think we can do better."

Shawn searched Gene's face, finding nothing but caring in his gaze. Still he had to ask. "You're not angry I did that?"

"Did I act as if I were?"

"Well… no. And you're right; we can do better." Wrapping his arms around Gene's neck, Shawn set out to prove it, with Gene's wholehearted participation.