One Plus Two Equals... - 53

Two months later

"That just earned you a gold star," Auden commented as he wiped the blood off his weapon.

Julyan nodded, bending over with his hands on his knees until he regained his breath and his control.

The fight had been short but vicious, the two of them against four well-armed creatures who had banded together to try to take over a small section of the city run by one of the local mafia capos. It wasn't the agency's intention to protect or even deal with the capo, who had no idea what he was facing. As far as they, and Auden, were concerned, stopping him was the Fed's job. The creatures were another thing. If they'd succeeded with their plot then who knew what they'd do next to expand their power in the human world.

"Ready to get out of here?"

Again, Julyan only nodded.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Sort of." Julyan admitted. "Not literally but… This was hard."

Coming over to him, Auden gripped Julyan's upper arms. "I take it you mean the killing."

"Yes." Julyan didn't resist Auden's hold, only staring at his lover. "Xander felt so…so thrilled, for lack of a better word, at being able to fight and kill. It was frightening, Auden. If he's a part of me, does it mean those were my feelings as well? I mean…" he tapped his chest, "Somewhere in here am I part beast and killer even though I've never felt like one?"

"Not at all," Auden assured him firmly. "If that was the case you wouldn't be so worried about it. You, as Julyan, are no more of a fighter than Duane is. The only difference between you and him is that he shifts into another human, me, and we are thinking, feeling individuals on our own. He doesn't have to control me any more than I have to control him. In your case, because Xander is a very wild and predatory animal, you need to keep a tight rein on him when you're using him to help destroy the creatures that need eliminating." Auden pulled him to his chest in a tight embrace. "We can all be thankful you have a good moral core, unlike those guys we just took down."

Julyan looked up at him, the worried expression still on his face. "What if he manages to erode this moral core you say I have?"

"I don't think, in fact I'm quite certain, he wouldn't be able to by the mere fact he doesn't have morals as we think of them. He can't lie, or knowingly be cruel. He can't consciously consider the difference between right and wrong on any except the most primal level. He can't foresee the consequences of his acts or think in abstract terms."

"That you know of," Julyan countered. "If he's part of me then maybe he can do all those things."

"Julyan, if he is in the way you're implying then he would have the same beliefs you hold, just as Duane and I believe in the same things on an ethical level." Auden chuckled when Julyan rolled his eyes at his last words. "Okay, so maybe I was a bit free and loose morally when it came to those first few kisses, but," he kissed Julyan's forehead, "I did know what I was doing was wrong. I just didn't particularly care at that point."

Julyan relaxed into Auden's hold finally, and grinned. "So, I'm safer with Xander than with you?"

"You had better believe it! On any and all levels." Auden glanced around the room hopefully, seeing only the remnants of their battle, which were hardly conducive to what he had in mind. "I opt we get the hell out of here, go home, and celebrate your losing your virginity."

"My virginity?" Julyan snorted. "Been there, done that, long before I met you."

"Your operative virginity," Auden's kiss was hard, almost brutal, before he realized what he'd done and softened it.

"That's how you kissed me the first time." Julyan wrapped his arms around Auden's neck. "I fought it then."

"And now?" He found out seconds later when Julyan kissed him hungrily, his tongue probing, fucking his mouth with such ferocity Auden instantly had a raging hard-on. "I think…" he managed to get out when they broke to try to regain some control, "there was just a bit of Xander in that kiss."

Julyan shook his head. "Nope, it was all me. Now, as you said, let's get out of here. I don't mind a dirty floor if it comes down to it, but a bloody one…" He shuddered.

"I absolutely agree. Home it is, to shower and then continue this."

"Or," Julyan grinned, "continue it in the shower."

"Yeah, that works too."