(44) When all else is lost the future still remains

Addie glanced up as Race came into the command center. One look at his face and she asked, “Are you all right?”

“Other than my speaking out of turn and pretty much making a fool of myself, sure.”

“Let me guess, you told Shan how you feel about him. Did he reject that out of hand? If so, I’ll have a few words of my own with him.”

“No don’t Addie, please. And…” Race chewed his lip thoughtfully. “He didn’t exactly reject me. He just said now was not the time.”

Looking at him, searching his face, Addie said, “You understand why I hope.”

“Oh yeah, I’m not a total dunce. He’s only just come to terms with losing Lav, and we’re in the middle of who knows what with that thing. So he’s scared, not of what’s going on but because he thinks something is going to happen to me.” Flopping down in one of the swivel chairs Race looked up at her. “The problem is, I’m twice as scared that he’s the one who’s going to get hurt.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“Hell no! He’s this big, strong macho man, a Were and a sorcerer. He’d think I had not faith in his abilities, which isn’t true. I just…I have no concept of what we could be getting into here, Addie, and what if he thinks he has to watch out for me and does something stupid as a result.” He ran a hand distractedly through his hair. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“He’d still watch your back no matter what, to make certain you stay safe. That’s the way he is. And from the sound of it, he’s at least interested in you, if not more so, even if the two of you hadn’t talked about it the feelings that are there. My suggestion is that you say nothing more for right now and see what happens. And don’t be hurt if he acts as if you two never talked. If and when he’s ready, you’ll know it.” Addie chuckled, “In spades. He’s a very sensual male.”

“You know this?” Race felt a real pang of jealousy hit him.

“No, Race,” she replied with a smile. “He’s never made a move on me either, in the past or since everything happened. He’s never even hinted he might have feelings for me, because he doesn’t. He and I are best friends and nothing more.”

Race nodded. “That’s what Kayne said.”

“Oh really? And just how did that come into the conversation? Wait, let me guess. It was when I went after Shan the other day.”

“Um hmm. Kayne said the jealousy showed on my face.” Race looked away in embarrassment.

“Sweetie, there’s not a thing wrong with a touch of jealousy. We all feel it at times. It’s only when you let it rule your life that it becomes dangerous.” A flash of pain crossed her face for a second before she wiped it away. “Anyway, remember what I’m telling you. Take it slow and easy, and I have the feeling things will work out just the way they should for both of you.”