Like Father, Like Son - 28

“Mr. Hill, you have company,” the orderly announce in a loud, firm voice.

Bryant gave no indication he’d heard the orderly as he sat on the edge of his bed, staring off into space. Declan walked slowly over to him. The woman had been correct; he looked nothing like the picture. He was almost as thin as Declan’s grandfather. Well cared for, it was obvious, but gaunt.

Declan knelt in front of him, looking up into to his vacant eyes. “Father,” he said, resting his hands on top of Bryant’s where they sat on his knees.

There was no response.

“Father, I know you don’t know me. How could you, you didn’t even know I existed. My name is Declan and I’m your son.”

Again, nothing.

Declan sighed deeply. He’d known from the start this was the way it would be but it didn’t make it hurt any the less. Looking over at the orderly he asked, “Does he ever respond to anything?”

Lee Whitney shook his head. “He eats when he’s fed, he sleeps, and he stares. Whatever’s going on inside his head is his secret and he’s not sharing it with anyone, not even the doctors.”

Returning his attention to his father Declan said softly, “I’m living my life the way I think you would have wanted. I’m in the game, just as you were. I only wish…” With a shake of his head he stood. “I know this won’t get through to you, wherever you are in there,” he touched Bryant’s forehead. “But I do love you.”

He watched his father for a long moment, hoping by some miracle his father would acknowledge his words, even if was only to look at him. He didn’t. His eyes remained locked straight ahead.

“Goodbye, father,” Declan said dejectedly before he left the room.

Ignoring the fact the orderly was standing there, Nicky gathered Declan into his arms. “At least you got to see him.”

Declan buried his face in Nicky’s shoulder, his voice muffled as he replied, “I did. I think I hoped by coming here it might make him…react somehow. That I would be important enough he’d…” Declan pulled away angrily. “It…didn’t, I’m not.”

“But you tried, babe and that’s all you could have done. Perhaps somewhere in his fractured mind he did hear your words and understands, even though no one will ever know but him.”

Heaving a sigh, Declan nodded. “Let’s get out of here,” he said abruptly. With one last glance at his father Declan walked swiftly down the hall.

It had stopped raining by the time they left the asylum, although it was still dark and gloomy.

Fitting end Declan thought. Nicky’s right though, at least I tried. He glanced at his lover with a small smile. “I’m glad you came with me.”

Nicky chuckled. “If I remember correctly you practically ordered me to, but I would have anyway. We’re a team through thick and thin, whatever that means.”

“Look it up when we get home. It’s probably some obscure phrase which started out much differently in the original,” Declan told him, glad for the change of subject, such as it was.

“Speaking of getting home, did you happen to remember to make return reservations?”

Declan rolled his eyes. “You do know who you’re asking, right?”

“Yeah, you, the great organizer. So did you?”

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, no, but,” he added quickly, “only because I didn’t know how long we’d be here and, well…”

Nicky laughed, patting Declan’s thigh. “It’s okay, I forgive you. Hey, maybe we can drive back and see a bit of the country?”

Declan nodded. “Maybe. We’ll see.” As he thought about it he decided he rather liked the idea. It would be a way to forget about everything and perhaps enjoy life for once without any distractions other than the man sitting beside him. “Yeah, we’ll just go ahead and do that.” He smiled when Nicky pumped a fist in the air and cheered.

Like Father, Like Son - 27

“What a gloomy looking place,” Nicky said when they saw the asylum up ahead of them.

Declan had to agree, although he thought some of that was because the day was dark and dreary with heavy rain clouds gathered above them. “Like something out of a bad movie,” he replied with a small smile.

“Exactly.”

Declan drove up the long driveway, found a place to park their rental car, and got out just as the first raindrops began to fall. They raced to the front porch of the large brick building. After taking a deep breath Declan opened the door.

A large, nicely furnished entryway faced them. Across the expanse of tiled floor was a desk, manned by an older, gray-haired woman. She looked up, saw them and smiled. “May I help you?”

Declan nodded. “I’m here to see my father,” he told her once he stood in front of the desk.

“Who would that be?”

“Bryant Hill.”

She frowned. “To the best of my knowledge Mr. Hill has no relatives other than his father.”

Declan nodded. “I know. I mean I know you wouldn’t know about me. But I can prove I’m his son.” He took the well worn birth certificate from his wallet, handing it to her. Folded in with it were the pictures of his father and grandfather taken before he’d been born, and the one of his father and uncle he’d found in his grandfather’s wallet.

She studied the birth certificate carefully, and then the pictures. She looked at the newer one of his father and then up at him and back. “I can see a family resemblance. Let me take these to the administrator. If he agrees, and Mr. Hill’s doctor gives his okay, then we’ll allow you a short visit.”

“That’s all I ask,” Declan said, his heart beating faster. “I just want to see him, just once. I never…” He shook his head. “I’ve never met him.”

“I understand. Please have a seat. I’ll be back to let you know as soon as possible.”

“So?” Nicky said when Declan sat down beside him.

“So I wait to see if the powers that be are willing to let me see him.” His face darkened. “He won’t know me of course. He won’t even understand what’s going on, or at least that’s the impression I got from my grandfather once, when he was less…sick. But that doesn’t matter. At least I’ll know. No matter how lost he is in his mind, at least I can say I finally met him.”

“And that’s what counts,” Nicky told him, hugging him.

They waited in silence then. Finally the woman came back and crossed to where they sat. “Mr. Hill’s doctor has given his permission. He’s not here but an orderly will be out momentarily to take you to him. I’ll warn you, he doesn’t look at all like he did in that picture. And, he probably won’t even know you’re there.”

“My grandfather told me he was…off somewhere else in his head?”

“Precisely.” She saw a man enter the room and waved him over, introducing him as Lee Whitney.

Declan thanked her then stood. “Is it…can my friend come with me?”

She eyed Nicky, who tried to look as innocuous as he possibly could. “He can’t go into the room with you but he can wait outside.”

“Thank you.”

Declan followed the orderly, Nicky walking beside him. They went down a long hall to a bank of elevators then up three floors. The orderly informed them this was the locked ward, which was quite obvious from the number of doors they were buzzed through before arriving in front of the one to Bryant’s room. While the orderly unlocked the door, Nicky gave Declan’s hand a tight squeeze. Declan smiled his thanks for his support.

Like Father, Like Son - 26

Declan ran his hand through his hair as he closed his cell. “Damn, damn,” he whispered softly. Nicky was beside him seconds later, asking what was wrong. “My grandfather had a heart attack. They don’t expect him to live more than a day or two, if that.” He jumped to his feet, opening his cell again. “Go get packed, we’re heading to back there. I want to say my goodbye’s to him, even if he has no clue who I am.”

“What about your job? Aren’t they going to be upset, you’re taking off on such short notice?”

Declan shook his head. “I’ll let them know why, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” He paused long enough to make plane reservations then let Nicky know they had two hours to get to the airport.

“That was fast.”

“The only real perk to who my stepfather is, I tossed out his name and they jumped through hoops to get us on the next plane out.”

They hurried to the bedroom to get ready. As it was too early for anyone to be at the office yet, Declan left a message explaining what was going on. By the time they were dressed and packed the cab Declan had ordered was downstairs waiting for them.

* * * *

It wasn’t until they stepped off the plane in Minneapolis that Declan actually showed any emotion other than worrying if they’d be in time. He had a feeling Nicky found it strange but he didn’t give a damn. They didn’t need to stop to pick up their luggage as they’d each packed only one carry-on bag, so they were able to get out of the airport and into the heart of the city quickly. Declan picked the first decent hotel he saw, got them a room, and when they’d tossed their bags on the beds he called the nursing home.  

“He’s at the hospital, of course,” Declan told Nicky after he’d hung up. “The administrator agreed to tell the people there I was a relative so I could get in to see him.”

Nicky frowned as he followed Declan back to the elevator. “They don’t know?”

“No. I never told them. I…didn’t want questions. I just let them think I was a nice kid who was concerned about a man I’d found wandering in the cemetery one day. As far as they knew he had no family other than my father.” Declan smiled sadly. “And father was in no condition to visit him.”

When they arrived at the hospital, the nurse made Nicky stay in the waiting room while she took Declan to his grandfather’s room.

“I’m afraid he won’t recognize you,” she said as she held the door open for him.

“I understand.” He walked to stand at the side of the bed, looking down at Gerard. “He’s so…so thin,” he murmured. When the nurse didn’t reply he turned and realized she’d left, closing the door silently behind her.

Declan pulled the only chair up to the bed and sat, taking Gerard’s emaciated hand in his. “I’m sorry I never got to know you,” he whispered. “I’m carrying on with the game though, grandfather, following in your footsteps. Maybe a bit differently but I’m still doing it for the right reasons, just as you and father did.”

For a second he thought his grandfather’s hand moved in his. He squeezed it gently but there was no response.

“I love you, grandfather. You’re all I had left, you and father.” He sighed deeply. “I wish… I wish I could visit him, see him just once.”

“Go…”

The word was a bare whisper, so soft Declan wasn’t certain his grandfather had even spoken it. “You want me to go see him?”

Gerard’s eyelids fluttered once.

Declan straightened then stood. He bent to kiss his grandfather’s withered cheek. “I will, I promise.”

He walked slowly from the room, stopping at the door to look back at his grandfather. “I’ll go tomorrow. I promise.”

Like Father, Like Son - 25

“Self-righteous, bigoted, mother-fucking ass,” Nicky growled as he met Declan outside the bar. His normally casually combed dark hair was spiked now with pink tips. Makeup lined his eyes. Diamond studs, fake but apparently real, decorated his ears. With the clothes he had on he looked like a redneck’s vision of a gay male.

“And that’s exactly what we were looking for,” Declan replied as they started down the street. He took a quick glance behind them. “He’s watching you, with two of his buddies, my cue to leave.” He kissed Nicky quickly before saying just loudly enough to be heard by the man in the doorway of the bar, “I’ll meet you at our place, sweet thing.”

“Sweet thing?” Nicky muttered. “Okay babe. And hurry.” He watched Declan cross the street to one of the cars along the curb then continued up the street to the dark parking lot next to a row of closed shops.

When he got to his car a voice called out from a few yards away. “Hey, faggot, where you think you’re going?”

Nicky swung around, pressing back against the car as he eyed the man and his two companions who were a few feet behind him. “What do you want?” he asked, putting fear he didn’t feel into his voice.

“To teach you the facts of life. You’re kind aren’t welcome in decent bars, queer boy.”

The three men moved closer, so intent on him they were unaware of Declan who moved up silently behind them. Nicky wasn’t though. He watched as Declan grabbed the bat one of the men was carrying. The man’s shout of surprise came too late. Declan swung it hard, catching the man across the back of his head. Another swing and the second man hit the ground as well, both of them unconscious.

Their target was within arms length of Nicky by then, grabbing for his wrist. Nicky let him get hold of it then brought his other hand around, pressing to taser he held to the man’s chest. The man’s body jerked uncontrollably, Declan stepped forward quickly to open the back door of the car, and Nicky shoved their victim inside.

“Good work all around,” Declan commented, looking at the downed men. “Bet they think twice before trying to assault someone.” He slid into the driver’s seat, waited until Nicky had gotten in as well, and they drove out of the lot.

* * * *

“It’s different with men,” Nicky said several hours later, a feral grin on his face. “They last longer, and the screams are different.”

“Noticed that,” Declan agreed as he picked up the tools which were now bathed in blood and gore.

Nicky looked down at the dead face of the man. “Sort of reminds me of a pig hung upside down for slaughter to let the blood run out.” He gave the body a push, jumping out of the way when it swung back toward him.

“Well he was a pig, so that fits. Let’s get cleaned up and head home. I’m in the mood for some real sweet loving in our own bed.” He chuckled when Nicky gave him a high-five on their way out of the shaft.

As they walked down to the stream Nicky asked with concern “Did this help?”  

“Yeah, it did. I don’t feel so tense now. Like you said, it’s different but it’s still killing someone who deserves it.”

“Aren’t we a moral pair?” Nicky laughed. “Killers with a cause.”

Declan nodded with amusement. “Guess we are. Maybe someday we’ll be the subject of a movie of the week.”

“Hopefully not until we’re dead and gone ourselves,” Nicky replied seriously, “of natural causes.”

“Trust me, my sweet boy, that’s exactly how it will end, us sharing a room in a nursing home, colorful old codgers telling stories no one will believe about our exploits.”

Nicky grinned broadly. “Now that’s an idea I can live with.”

Like Father, Like Son - 24

For the next month Declan and Nicky spent their time as any normal pair would. Declan’s days were taken up with the two new restaurants he was involved with. Nicky spent the first week hunting for a new job, finally finding one at a small clothing store in one of the malls. Their nights and weekends were spent together. Declan managed to deflect any requests by his mother to join her and Reginald for Sunday lunch. She also seemed to be suppressing her need to call him several times a week at work. He suspected, although he didn’t ask, she felt he was finally moving up in the company and didn’t need her guiding hand. For the moment at least.

Even though everything was going smoothly, the urge to kill began to build again as Declan knew it would. It was part of him and what he was. He also knew Nicky was aware of it from the way he acted, watching him in anticipation when he didn’t think he would notice. Their sex life became rougher, Declan delivering as much pain as he knew Nicky could withstand, and sometimes more.

After their last bout Nicky had turned to him, tears from the pain he’d taken still rolling down his cheeks. “We need to do something or it’ll be me you kill.”

“That won’t ever happen,” Declan had growled, enfolding him in his arms. He’d sighed. “You’re right though, but…”

Nicky curled up against his chest. “The trigger isn’t there because your mother isn’t on your ass right now.”

“You know me well.” Declan kissed his temple.

“Then we find another one. I want to do it again. Desperately.”

“Silly boy,” Declan murmured softly, “why didn’t you say something. This isn’t just about me. If you have to need to kill someone then we will.” He ran his fingers through Nicky’s hair then tugged it until Nicky looked up at him. “Who knows, perhaps it will even lessen my urge, or fulfill it.”

“Do you think..?”

“Sometimes.” Declan interrupted with a laugh. “Not always, but sometimes. Yes, I think we should decide who deserves our ‘attentions’ this time.”