If I'm honest with myself and I usually am, I'm afraid. Using Del as an excuse. I came out of the thing in Chicago with a whole skin. But I lost something there. Something essential. Nerve, I guess you'd call it.
I didn't have to promise him. It took everything I had to go after the two I did.
I cup his face in my hands. Look into his eyes. Say quietly. "Del, I need to do this."
"Why?" He studies me. Nods. Understanding suddenly. "Oh." His hands cover mine. "I...all right. Yes." His lips brush mine softly. He slides off my lap, holding on to one of my hands. Squeezes it. "You should have told me. I thought. I thought things were going bad for us. You've been so distant this last couple of weeks."
"I'm sorry." I rest my forehead against his. "It isn't your fault Del. It's mine. I'm scared and I was..."
"Pulling away? Trevor there's not a thing wrong with being afraid. But you can't let it rule your life. You can't bury it inside you. It's eating at you, and slowly killing what we've started to build together." He moves away. Still looking at me. "I'm scared too. Afraid that something will happen to you, to us. And it will if you let your fear rule you, because, baby, you have to do what you think is right. I know you. I know how important what you do is to you. If you stop you loose an essential part of yourself." He stops. Shakes his head. A tiny smile quirks his lips. "Listen to me, telling you to go off and be the big, bad Vampyre hunter. But that's what you are. It defines you."
"And it will be the death of me if I don't get my nerve back."
He nods slowly. "Where are you going? Who called you? You're not going back to Chicago?" Del growls. I almost laugh. On him it's cute.
"No, Del. Not there. I got a call from an acquaintance, a man I saved."
"He remembers you?" He looks puzzled. "I thought..."
"That I'd have wiped his memory? I tried but couldn't. I think maybe because he was on medications, or has a hell of a strong mind, or both. Anyway, he needs my help."
"Ahh." He smiles a bit. "That's good. Someone you trust enough not to, well you know?"
"Yeah, from what I know of him. And it's good if I don't freak out."
"Baby you won't. After all,"—he chuckles even though his eyes are still somber—"he knew who the biggest, baddest dude was to call for help and he's right. Right?"
"Right." I hope.
"When do you leave?"
"Soon, but not that soon." I know my smile must be a bit wicked. He leans in. Kisses me hard.
"Good." Whispered against my lips. "Very good."