With Trevor out of town, Kemp had to put his job on hold, which did not make his boss happy. And Kemp couldn’t even tell him the real reason why, blaming it instead on family business he had to deal with. Leif was now back in Seattle, having promised to keep in touch, so Kemp had Trevor’s house to himself. Not that he got much chance to use it other than to sleep, but he’d become used to that. It was having no one to talk to that was getting to him. Lonely nights patrolling the streets, always tense as he looked for vampyres that needed his attention, gave him too much time think
The more he thought, the more he realized that Seth had been correct. For the past three years almost his sole focus had been on Owen; on him and then on feeling sorry for himself for having lost him. How the hell has anyone been able to put up with me? he wondered. And what chances have I missed, as Seth said, because I wouldn’t let go of the past?
By the fourth night, finding himself again avoiding the riverfront area where he and Owen had spent so much time—instead of checking it out as he should have—he took himself in hand.
This had got to stop. Now, he scolded himself. I’m a grown man. I can’t let the past rule me the way it has been.
He forced himself to cross the street. As he walked along the path by the river he began to realize that the pain was gone, replaced by a sense of acceptance. He would never forget Owen—he had been his first love—but indeed it was now time to move on. “I’ll always miss you, and love you,” he murmured under his breath. “But I need to begin living again.”
He waited, almost as if expecting an answer, and then laughed to himself. This wasn’t some romance novel where the ghost of a past love would come back to give the hero their permission to get on with his life. This was reality and the choice was his alone to make. He looked around, smiled softly, and whispered, “Good-bye.”
Then, feeling as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he went in search of vampyres.